


Blue Christmas

by CreamPuffBunny



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-02-27 15:41:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2698274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreamPuffBunny/pseuds/CreamPuffBunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Complete!) After breaking up with his boyfriend, Ivan, Alfred accepts an invitation to spend the holiday season with his friends at a romantic ski lodge. Hoping to escape his heartache and find Christmas cheer, he happens to run in to Ivan while staying at the lodge. Alfred wants more answers as to why they broke up and hopes to rekindle the relationship. But does Ivan still want a relationship? Will the joyfulness of the holiday season help to push the two back together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

*****Welcome to another mini-chapter fic! This one is in light of the upcoming holidays, since I am super excited for Christmas this year on my end! I thought sharing in some good ol' holiday relationship sweet drama will do us all a bit of good! So I hope you like it. I don't plan on this fic being many chapters. Maybe 3 or 4 tops. Read and review, of course. ^_^**

*****Warnings: Language, drama, humor**

*****Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.**

*****Summary: After breaking up with his boyfriend, Ivan, Alfred accepts an invitation to spend the holiday season with his friends at a romantic ski lodge. Hoping to escape his heartache and find Christmas cheer, he happens to run in to Ivan while staying at the lodge. Alfred wants more answers as to why they broke up and hopes to rekindle the relationship. But does Ivan still want a relationship? Will the joyfulness of the holiday season help to push the two back together?**

**Non-sexual pairings: GerIta, FrUK, TurGre, Spamano, and Gilbert = (He might find someone! XD)**

* * *

**Blue Christmas**

**Chapter 1**

' _Come on, Alfred! It'll be fun! You need the distraction, and no one likes to hang around an empty home on Christmas!'_

That's what his friend, Feliciano, told him over the phone two days ago when he received an invitation to stay at a ski lodge with a group of his friends for the holiday.

Alfred stared lazily out the window at the passing evergreen trees and endless gray sky as the car climbed higher up the mountain road. He hitched a ride with Feliciano and his boyfriend, Ludwig, and Ludwig's older brother, Gilbert. Feliciano's twin brother Lovino and his boyfriend, Antonio, were already up at the ski lodge. His other friends, Arthur and Francis, were heading up to the ski lodge as well and were driving in the car behind them. Alfred would be the only gay guy at this place without a boyfriend.

He had recently broken up with his boyfriend, Ivan, who he had been dating for two years. Alfred still didn't know exactly what happened to end their relationship but they started to grow further and further apart. Dates and calls started becoming fewer and fewer. Ivan was always busy with his work and Alfred was caught up in his sports radio show. They used to share so much together when they had first started dating.

Alfred first met Ivan during their last years of college when he was hosting the school radio show. He had called Ivan in for an interview because the Russian was to discuss the growing interest in the school's science and biology department. Ivan wanted to be a scientist, and he's currently shadowing a top-rate scientist now. Alfred was talking about sports and gossip on the radio. The more Ivan progressed in his field experience, the further he pushed Alfred away. At least, that's how it seemed to Alfred.

"Hey, Alfie, turn that frown upside down!" Grinned Gilbert, who was wearing the most obnoxious and ugly ski sweater next to him. "You'll probably meet someone while we're at the lodge! All the gays are going to be there this year!"

Alfred turned from the window to look at him, straitening out his ski sunglasses. "Don't tell me this is one of those sausage fest type of lodges?"

Feliciano turned around in his seat to add to the conversation. "It's not just that! There's girls there too! Girls that aren't interested in us, but still lots of girls! It's a love lodge too!" He squealed. "They have heart-shaped tubs and mirrors on the ceiling-"

"Whoa, slow it down!" Alfred put his hands up. "You guys didn't tell me this was a love hotel! I'm not looking for someone right now!" How could they do that to him?

"Feli, sit down and buckle your seatbelt." Ludwig softly scolded. "It's not just a love hotel. Yes, they do have specialized rooms for that sort of thing, but I knew how you would feel so I booked you a regular room. The 'Mountaineer Room'. It's supposed to look like a cabin and it has a nice view of the ski slopes."

Leave it to Ludwig, the most practical of them all, to know how to handle any situation. "Thanks Ludwig."

"I don't have anyone either," started Gilbert. "But I plan to find someone!"

"Veh~ and you'll find someone too, Alfred!"

"I'm not ready for another relationship, Feli." Alfred reminded him.

Feliciano pulled down the passenger side sun visor and used the mirror to look at Alfred in the back. "But I didn't want you spending Christmas alone. Nobody in our group cares if you have someone or not! You're still our friend and deserve to celebrate the holiday season with friends."

Alfred thanked him with a small smile and turned back to the window, trying to admire the wintery wonderland they were driving in to.

"Oh, I just got a text from Sadiq and Herc." Said Gilbert, looking at his phone. "They're already there and met up with Lovi and Tony."

"Veh! Tell them we'll be there in-" he looked at the estimated time on the iPhone's GPS. "Twenty minutes!"

'Yeah, twenty minutes until a Christmas love-fest at a holiday centric ski lodge with lovebirds everywhere…and then there will be me. Alone.'

Alfred had never felt so defeated and depressed before in his entire life. He was always bubbly and full of energy, the highlight of the party, the fun guy, the happy-go-lucky loud mouth who enjoyed anything exciting. From movies to clubs, Alfred loved to enjoy himself. But recently, after his breakup with Ivan, he's been withdrawn and depressed, almost alienating all of his social circles except for work. That's why his friends invited him to this ski lodge for Christmas, to hopefully see him  _enjoy_  himself. In his anger, it felt like his friends were pitying him. But in truth, they cared about him and wanted to see him happy, not just during the holidays but all the time.

They were a great group of friends and he was proud to have them. They all met at a gay rights protest in front of the court house. It was a small showing, but they quickly became friends afterwards. Alfred liked to joke that they had all escaped from the 'It's A Small World' ride in Disneyland because they were all of different ethnic backgrounds. He was proud to be an American! He bled red, white, and blue! Feliciano and Lovino were Italian, which often were referred to as the 'Macaroni Brothers'. Ludwig and Gilbert were German, with the sibling nickname, The Studdy Spuds. That, of course, was Gilbert's naming. Francis was French, often going off in romantic rants in his native tongue whenever he baked authentic French pastries. Arthur was English; snobby, uptight, snooty, and made terrible food. Antonio was from Spain and loved to sing with his guitar, which was both enjoyable and nerve-wracking. Sadiq was from Turkey and the eldest of the bunch. But he was the friendliest, often acting like a big brother. Heracles was Greek and lived his life in slow motion. The cat-loving, ever napping man was never in a hurry, even when he was in a rush.

Aside from having boyfriends, with the exception of Gilbert and himself, they all had better jobs than him too. Ludwig was an architect and Gilbert a private contractor. Feliciano and his brother owned a popular restaurant and pizzeria in center city. Francis owned a bakery mainly of sweets and fancy décor. Arthur ran a boutique, selling his own creations as well as other retailers with anything from clothing to perfume. Francis and Arthur actually work next door to each other, which is also how they met, with sexual tensions running high and battling businesses. Sadiq is part of a company that owns a chain of luxury furniture stores, mostly overseas. The one he owns and operates is in their city. Heracles is a veterinarian , specializing in cats, and runs a shelter for cats on the side. The Greek never went anywhere without his big black binder full of adoptable cats.

He had a couple of hours on the radio with a major program talking about sports. While his job wasn't as flashy or fancy as his buddies, he was a small city celebrity. There were fan sites for him, along with fan clubs, fan mail, and very high ratings. He had been interviewed on network television once or twice, which is more than he could say for his friends. But when they were all hanging out together, it was disheartening to know that his job was less than satisfactory in the social ladder. All he did was sit in a chair, press buttons, take calls, and speak into a microphone about everything and anything sports related. However he does have two radio award trophies for 'best sports program' and 'youngest radio star'. But when he is standing next to a contractor and a veterinarian, his radio job didn't match up.

'Just one more reason for this holiday season to suck.'

/

The lodge was huge, bigger than Alfred though it would be. Slopes and massive snow covered trees surrounded it. People were skiing or snowboarding down the slopes, looking like small colorful dots against the white. The front lawn stretched wide with walking paths of stones and decorated with lighted shaped hedges, most in the shape of deer or bears. There sat a large fountain in the center that they passed, which glows bright blue at nighttime and is lit up with lights. Wreaths with massive red bows hung on every window; two hung on the double glass doors of rooms with balconies. Through the large bay windows in the front of the lodge stood brightly decorated Christmas trees. The entire lodge was covered in lights, which could probably be seen from space during the night.

Alfred wished he had Ivan here with him. Already he had seen multiple couples, gay and straight, walking along arm-in-arm in warm holiday coats, hats, and gloves. He passed a young Lesbian couple on one of the benches, both giggling in glee as they sipped their mugs of hot beverages, all the while holding hands. To his left he saw two men, one trying to help the other learn how to use ski sticks. The smaller of the men fell with one ski going up in the air, making the other man laugh. They too were a couple, for the bigger man gave the fallen one a kiss on the cheek before helping him up.

It reminded Alfred of the time he took Ivan roller skating for the first time. Ivan didn't know how to roller skate, but Alfred assured him that it was no different than ice skating, which Alfred had no clue how to do. He had to guide Ivan all around the skate rink, trying not to laugh as the man's skates criss-crossed around constantly. Ivan landed on his rump more times than Alfred could keep count. Ivan wanted to teach him how to skate, but Alfred wasn't too fond of the ice in general so he declined. Ivan was sad about that, and now Alfred regretted it.

Inside the lodge was just as grand as the exterior, with high ceilings decorated with antler chandeliers and lit with electric candles. The bottom floor had a gift shop, a bar and lounge, a spa, a Ski Barn, a gym, a steakhouse and a coffee shop name he had never heard of. He would have to visit the bar and lounge…and stay there for most of the time. He would need it.

The couples banter was already going on behind him.

"You better have packed my electric toothbrush, Francis!" Hissed Arthur. "I refuse to use those brittle bristle cheap ones they have here! It's the same in all hotel rooms!"

Francis took off his scarlet beret. "I packed your stupid toothbrush! Just like I packed the large bottle of Scope you so insultingly use after-" Arthur had slapped a hand to his mouth to keep him from saying the rest.

Ludwig had his tablet out, tapping his finger on the screen as he went down the checklist, something he always did. He was fond of checklists. "Do we have the duffel bag with our ski clothes?"

Feliciano panted out, 'Yes' while trying to balance and carry their luggage with the help of Gilbert.

"And our cosmetic bag?"

"Yes."

Ludwig checked it off. "Our hiking gear and survival kit?"

Alfred couldn't help but interject. "Are you guys planning on camping outside or something?"

"No, but we do have some hikes we're going to go on." Ludwig answered. "Feliciano and I. We have a wilderness survival hike tomorrow morning. Today we are seeing the fossil and bark exhibit, and then we will be on the roof taking a sky tour of the winter constellations."

Feliciano made faces of disgust and boredom from behind Ludwig, which was almost getting Alfred to laugh. "And Alfie, you're more than welcomed to come with us!"

"Ah, no thanks. And isn't Gilbert going with you?" Alfred jutted his thumb to the albino.

"Me? Hell no! I'm hittin' up the bar and longue! The only petrified wood I need to see is-"

"TMI!" Shouted Lovino, plugging his ears as he approached the group with Antonio following behind.

Alfred watched as they all greeted each other with hugs and some kisses. Antonio liked to kiss everybody. Lovino wouldn't kiss or hug Ludwig but instead called him a 'potato bastard' and flipped him the bird. When it was Alfred's turn, he smiled with a greeting to Antonio and hugged him.

"Glad you could come, Alfred." Said Antonio, patting him on the shoulder. "Sorry to hear your relationship with Ivan ended."

Alfred shrugged his shoulders. "Eh. What are you gonna do. It happens."

Antonio grinned and pinched his pink cheeks. "That's the attitude to have! Oh, you have to come to the bonfire tonight! I brought my guitar and I am going to sing the night away with my rendition of 'O' Holy Night'!"

Lovino pushed his way in. "I brought extra earplugs if you want them." He said to Alfred, who just laughed as Antonio made an overdramatic show of hurt.

"So, where's Aladdin and the Genie?" Gilbert asked Lovino and Antonio, which was his code name for Heracles and Sadiq.

"They're out on the slopes already." Antonio answered. "Well, they're practicing right now, really. Sadiq's never skied before and apparently Herc has some sort of skiing trophy he won some years back. You can guess the amount of arguing and competition those two will be having while here."

"Ain't that the truth!" Gilbert said with a laugh, shoving his hands in his L. L. Bean coat. "Their arguing is the gift that keeps on giving!"

"Opposites attract has been an age-old love story that never fails!" Added Francis while wrapping his arms around Arthur's waist.

Lovino added, "If they break up it won't come as a shock to anybody." He quickly covered his mouth, looking at Alfred.

Alfred noticed that all of them had fallen silent, refusing to meet his gaze and looking anywhere but where he was standing. They had all heard Lovino's joke, which, in Lovino's defense, was completely harmless without any malicious intent behind it. Alfred had to admit that it hurt to hear those words along with the happiness all the other couples were sharing. It was like being the only person at a wedding table without a name card: Ludwig & Feliciano, Antonio & Lovino, Francis & Arthur, Sadiq & Heracles, Gilbert & Whomever at the time, and Alfred. They were all going to pity him this week, so he had to put on a brave front.

"Hey, don't look so glum, guys!" He said with a grin. "I'm fine, okay? There's no reason to tip-toe around me. My life isn't some Lifetime weekend movie! I'll survive just fine!" he rubbed his hands together. "We'd better get into our rooms and settle in because boy, am I hungry! And that steakhouse is going to be my first stop! Oh, they have a lunch buffet! Whoo hoo!"

/

After making an obvious ass of himself, everyone headed to their rooms. Alfred had the rotten luck to follow behind some of them, peeking into their lavish rooms fit for love making in the most romantic (and tacky) ways possible. Each room was bigger and better than the last. He had helped Feliciano carry in a bag and looked around the massive room. They didn't have a heart-shaped tub but it was a bed instead. Their 'bathtub' was a champagne glass! A large champagne glass tub that one needed steps to get up in to! They even had a tiny bar! There was a fireplace with two fainting couches and bear-skin rub. To make matters worse, on the center coffee table was complimentary gift basket of fruits and chocolates along with a vase of fresh cut roses and a bucket of chilled champagne.

Then, he came to his room. 'The Mountaineer' suite, said the lodge tag key chain. Swiping the card, he opened the door and stood inside, dropping his luggage to the floor.

There was no heart-shaped tub or bed, just a king sized wooden bed that looked like Davy Crockett had carved it. An ugly quilted pattern of moose, bears and ducks covered the bedspread with matching pillows. How was it possible to even have curtains to match? The floor was covered with various area rugs overtop of the natural wood floor. The vanity and chest of drawers also had carved designs on them, only these were owls. He stepped over the luggage to peer into the bathroom; a whirlpool tub and stand alone shower with average crapper. The wallpaper inside the bathroom was so woodsy that even the Big Bad Wolf would have turned away if Red Riding Hood's grandma lived here. The only redeeming quality was the whirlpool tub, and the T.V. It had cable, a Roku box, a game controller and Blu-ray player. At least he could hide out in his room and be entertained if he wanted to.

He unpacked his things in the drawers and plugged in his cell phone and laptop. This was going to be his room for the next seven days until after Christmas. Alfred already knew what he was going to give all his friends for Christmas; a bottle of nice wine sent to their rooms with a card. His friends will want to share the majority of Christmas Eve and Day with each other, not with him.

"This sucks major donkey balls." Alfred said to himself in the vanity mirror. "But, I shouldn't let it get me down." He made himself smile proudly at his reflection. "Who knows, Alfred, maybe you will find someone else during your stay here. Maybe a hot ski instructor or a sexy dude at the gym! Maybe even a rough and tough lumberjack that knows how to make real maple syrup!" The thought of syrup and pancakes made him smile. "I bet this place makes awesome breakfast too!"

So he set up breakfast for tomorrow, signed up for an in-room massage as well, and flopped on the bed to enjoy some television.

Just as he was dozing off, there was a knock at the door followed by Feliciano's voice.

"Alfred! You ready to hit the slopes? We're going to ski for a bit and then hit the outside hot tubs for some good R and R!"

"Oh, yeah! I'll meet you guys in the lobby! Be there in a bit!"

/

The fresh winter mountain air was a real treat. Alfred took a big, deep whiff of the fresh air and blew out a cloud of smoke. He was starting to feel better, especially since he was sporting his brand name winter merchandise along with a remake of the current Americans Winter Olympics uniform coat. He didn't like to ski. Snowboarding was his thing and he rented a board at the lodge.

They finally caught up with Sadiq and Heracles on the bunny slopes. Sadiq was just coming down the small hill but his knees buckled and he fell backwards, sliding the rest of the way down on his rump.

"You make it too hard." Heracles scolded him. "There is nothing difficult about this."

"I bet you're putting a curse on me!" Sadiq hissed back. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Hey you guys!" Feliciano announced loudly, running to greet them.

Alfred, as usual, was the last one to greet them with a bro hug. "Good seeing you guys again!"

"Where's the big Russian?" Heracles asked flatly, looking around. "Too much reenacting of Rocky 4 in your room to make it out here?"

Everyone fell silent again, looking anywhere but at Alfred.

"I guess you two haven't heard." Alfred forced a smile. "Ivan and I broke up about a month ago."

"Sorry to hear." Sadiq pat him on the shoulder. "But, you're in luck! The holidays always bring out the romance in people, and no one wants to be alone on Christmas. Just keep your eyes peeled because I've seen a good chunk of single men walking around." He pointed to a man standing by the ski lift. "See that guy? He's one of the ski instructors here at the lodge. Handsome, single, owns his own gym, and he's Portuguese."

Alfred gave a crooked smile. "I'm not really looking for another relationship right now. I really just want to hit those slopes! Who's with me?"

"We'll do it tomorrow." Said Ludwig. "Feliciano and I have to get to the hiking trail or we'll miss the owl showing."

Feliciano mouthed 'help me' as he followed behind Ludwig, leaving the rest of the party.

Alfred took to the slopes along with the others. He was excellent at snowboarding. During one of the ways down he had accidently frightened Arthur, who fell off his skies and nearly got run over by Sadiq, who had no actual control of his legs. Lovino and Antonio both cursed him as he went speeding by, accidently spraying them with snow but Alfred didn't care. All skiers hated snowboarders. Francis was the only one of them not skiing, preferring to sit at the base by the hot drink stand and sip spiced cider instead. Francis would wave to them, like a proud parent, as they came to the base.

Alfred didn't stop snowboarding until the sun went down and the others had quit to do other things. When he got up to his room, there was a note on the door left by Feliciano telling him to come and meet them at the spa. It was for the soaking tubs. Alfred quickly got into his swimsuit, put on some casual clothes and UGG boots, and hurried to the spa. Soaking in a hot herbal tub would be just what he needed to ease his snowboarding muscles.

The spa attendant brought him to the outdoor tub where Arthur, Feliciano, Lovino and Gilbert were. They all had towels wrapped around their heads so he did the same, stepping into the hot water to join them. A floating tray of sake and cups bobbed in the middle as they all had their arms resting along the edge.

"So how was the hike, Feli?" Alfred couldn't help but ask.

Feliciano sighed. "It was so boring! I had to hike and hike and hike up this steep mountain! Ludwig was getting mad because I was way far behind everyone else! But it was so cold and long! And then we had to walk all the way back down!"

"That's usually what you do when you go hiking." Gilbert joked, pouring himself a bit more sake.

"Did you at least get to see the owls?" Alfred grinned.

Feliciano rolled his eyes. "Yes. Four different kinds of owls!"

Arthur laid a hot towel over his face. "You're better than me, Feli. If Francis wanted me to do something boring like that I'd tell him to stick it."

"Yes, but you two do a lot of wine and cheese tasting." Lovino pointed out. "My dumb brother has to do everything that Ludwig wants him to do!"

"Veh! That's not true!" Feliciano whined. "I don't mind doing the things Ludwig likes to do! He let's me pick things to do all the time! Antonio sings to you! Ludwig won't sing to me!"

"Pfft. And I have to endure that singing again tonight at the bonfire." Lovino shook his head. "I don't know why he insists on singing. He thinks that by singing loudly it somehow masks the fact that he's a shit singer."

"Please, Francis sings all the time in the kitchen making food. I caught him once singing, 'You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings' to a bottle of wine."

Feliciano gasped when he looked at Alfred. "Oh my God! Alfred, we're so sorry! You must think we're terrible friends!"

"N-no, I don't think you guys are bad."

Arthur dropped his towel in back into the water. "We're talking about our boyfriends in front of you. It's inconsiderate."

Alfred couldn't help himself. He felt the anger building up in him and he let it all out. "Why don't you guys just stop already?" He hollered. "I'm more annoyed and pissed that you keep pitying me like this! So what if I don't have a boyfriend anymore? That doesn't mean you guys can't talk about yours in front of me! Do you think I'm so lame that I would weep like a high school kid if you guys keep talking about your boyfriends? No! So stop being so damned subtle! I'm out of here. I'll be in my room!"

When he got back to his room he quickly changed into sweatpants and a tank top to go to the gym. Whenever he was stressed out or frustrated, he would go to the local gym and work out his problems. He knew acting out the way he did in front of the others was a little overdramatic but he had reached his breaking point and couldn't take it anymore. It had been on his mind all day. They were all trying so hard to make him comfortable, but that was no reason why they had to limit themselves to what they enjoy. They all have lovers; he doesn't have one.

'I never should have agreed to come here.'

While on the treadmill and playing his iPod, Alfred was lost in his thoughts as he ran. Yet when their song came on, 'Never Knew Love Like This Before', his thoughts were immediately on Ivan. They had truly 'fallen in love' during one of their dates at an '80's charity dance. This song came on and they danced to it, with Alfred mouthing the words to Ivan. On a karaoke night they had performed it together, put on a good show but didn't win the prize. It became 'their song', which held so much meaning to them in the beginning. Or at least he thought.

He had to skip the song halfway through because it was threatening to bring up embarrassing emotions. He ignored the rest of the music that played and thought back to when the relationship ended.

Ivan's exacts words had been 'we're just too different', which to Alfred was bullshit. There was something else going on that Ivan wasn't telling him because it was a pretty lame excuse to come up with to end a long relationship. Yes, their jobs were interfering with their relationship but it was something they could have worked out. Later, a short time after they broke up, Alfred found out from a source that Ivan was seen with another man. Alfred wanted to confront Ivan about it, to ask him if the reason for their breakup was because he had found someone else. And if that was the point, then why would Ivan lie to him? When it came to emotions and matters of the heart, Alfred believed in being truthful to your partner. In the end, he lost his nerve of confronting Ivan and just let it go. It was easier to forget than to cause more drama.

But he didn't forget. It was eating away at him. He turned off the treadmill and went to the juice bar, cooling his forehead with a glass of ice water.

'Cold, just like Ivan.'

Sitting down at a small corner table, he thought back to the earliest months of their relationship when they were happy. Ivan was sweet and caring, a little boring and stiff at times but he was a guy who liked to have fun. The sex was good, too. Actually, it was the best. Not that Alfred had much to compare to but the Russian never left him unsatisfied. They did so much together! They would go to movies, see plays, go to sporting events; normal things a couple would do. They even took a trip to Russia so Alfred could see Ivan's homeland. Yet all that fun began to change when Ivan started pushing away. Alfred didn't really notice it at first until the signs started showing more often, and he just knew that something wasn't right.

'Now here I am. Alone, in a beautiful ski lodge with Christmas just around the corner and I'm boyfriend-less.'

At this point in his life, he wouldn't think something so simple as a bad breakup could have such a profound affect on him. It was getting harder to hide his depression, something he really didn't believe in until he began experiencing it himself. Perhaps this was his karma for thinking that no person should be depressed, that every person should just snap out of it and be happy. But if it were that easy, then wouldn't HE be able to snap out of it and move on? The answer was a big, fat 'no'.

To further his relationship depression, Alfred went back to his room to change for dinner, which would be at the steakhouse. A large, medium-rare prime rib would suit him this night. Food was always good for comfort, even if it did tend to put 'weight' on a person. Then, after the steak, he'll have a big dessert, maybe two servings of cheesecake. Food could always make him happy. He had brought his winter gear with him for he planned to take a holiday lighted walk around the lodge to work off a quarter of the fat he would consume at dinner.

The steakhouse was full of couples sharing in a romantic dinner of meat and potatoes. Alfred was lucky to have gotten the single table in the far corner by the fireplace where he could hide and play on his phone while waiting for his food. The waiter brought him the Sam Adams Boston Lager and a glass, pouring it for him. He thanked the waiter and placed his order for the prime rib, with an extra side of mashed potatoes and some corn as an add-on.

Up above him was the speaker for the steakhouse, now playing 'Baby It's Cold Outside' with Dean Martin. Alfred had to take a long swig of his beer for it seemed the Fates were playing a cruel joke on him. Ivan used to see this song around the holidays while doing various little things, like making dinner or cleaning. Sometimes Ivan would sing it to him, which would make him laugh because for such a large guy, Ivan had a high singing voice. That was just one of the many sweet things Ivan would do for him, so why did it have to end so badly?

'So we are a bit different, but like Francis said, opposites attract. So why couldn't we make it work?'

He thought about his friends and their relationships, with each one seeming like it wouldn't work out; or at least the two didn't seem compatible. Francis and Arthur were polar opposites, yet the two had been dating the longest out of all of them. Ludwig was strict, firm, punctual and obedient while Feliciano was a lazy flake and a bubble-head. Sadiq and Heracles fought all the time; there wasn't a time when he remembered they weren't fighting. Ivan told him once it was hate-sex that kept those two going for so long, but Alfred couldn't believe that. And lastly, there was Antonio and Lovino, another pair of opposites. Antonio was sociable, fun-loving and romantic, always putting Lovino first. Lovino only bosses him around, calls him names, and makes it seem like Antonio is stalking him. There was Gilbert, but that guy was in a league of his own. Gilbert didn't care for romantic relationships, or so he claims. Whatever the reasons, all his friends have strong relationships even if they don't seem to match. So what was wrong with HIS relationship? Where did he go wrong?

The prime rib didn't stand a chance, nor did the double layered chocolate lava cake he ordered afterwards. Alfred had stuffed himself fat, burped into his napkin, and pat his belly with a smile. Sometimes good food could solve all your problems, at least for a little bit. He paid the check and took a bottle of beer with him. Since it was an all-adult lodge, drinking outside the lodge was allowed.

Outside it had begun to snow light flurries; a romantic evening indeed, except when your only date was a thick cut of meat and chocolate cake. Alfred grumbled, pulled his hat down grumpily over his ears and began a fast paced walk around the grounds.

'Stupid snow. Stupid lodge. Stupid Christmas! Just call me the Grinch!'

"Hey! Wait up, Alfie!" That was Gilbert.

Alfred looked around for Gilbert, seeing the man hurrying over to him and waving.

"Hey Gilbert."

"The others are looking for ya! The bonfire's about to start and Antonio doesn't want to sing until he knows you're there."

Alfred gave a light smile. "Oh, yeah, forgot about that. It's okay, though. They have a bonfire every night here in the winter. I'll just catch it tomorrow."

Gilbert gave him a suspicious look. "Are you being a Scrooge?"

"I'm not a Scrooge!" Alfred puffed. "I'm just-" he couldn't bring himself to say 'depressed'. "-not happy tonight."

"Hey, you're making a big deal over nothing." Gilbert put his arm around Alfred's shoulders. "Sure, you had a bad breakup. It happens to all of us. But you're only, what? 26? 27?"

Alfred frowned. "24."

"24! You've got your whole life ahead of ya!" he slapped Alfred's chest. "And let me tell you something, it's easier to find someone in the homosexual world than it is in the heterosexual world."

"What do you mean by that?" Alfred scoffed. "That doesn't mean anything. Assholes are assholes no matter which way they swing."

"True, but we tend to have a more…open community. At least in my experience and the people I know. I'm not speaking for everybody so let's not chop my head off over it. I'm just saying that it's not the end of the world." Gilbert's voice softened a bit. "You're still young. There's so much you have to offer the world, so don't pine over one guy. You'll have many more Christmas' in the years to come with a lover by your side. Nothing is forever. Except maybe death, but that's another topic for another day." He stuck his tongue out to catch a snowflake.

Alfred leaned against a stone wall. "Hey, Gilbert? Can I ask you something? Why is that you don't want a relationship? Don't you practice what you preach?" Alfred grinned.

Gilbert shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I just haven't found anyone worthy of me, of my awesomeness. I'm tough to handle." He blew some clouds with his breath. "Wild. Untamable. Mysterious." He changed his tone of voice and it made Alfred laugh.

"Well, thanks for that, Gilbert. You made me feel a little better." He looked up at the lit lodge with all the wreaths covered in a thin layer of snow. "It just sucks to be alone on the holidays. And I've always loved Christmas. It's been my favorite holiday for like, ever! I'm glad to be sharing it with friends at least." He gave a smile. "That's more than some people have, right?"

"Exactly! Now come on, lets get to that bonfire!"

The bonfire was crowded with couples cuddling each other and standing around the large blaze. A vender was selling hot chocolate and funnel cakes, which Alfred had to have one of each. He took a seat on a wooden bench once a couple got up and left. The cocoa was warm in his gloved hands. He sniffed the lovely aroma of real hot chocolate, rich in flavor and made with creamy milk! He was used to the packaged kind with powered milk in it, so this was a nice treat. The snow flurries had multiplied, coming down in a heavier flow. Alfred had to quickly eat his funnel cake before the snow mixed with his powered sugar!

That's when Alfred saw  _him_.

His blue eyes slowly widened in disbelief, his funnel cake and cocoa forgotten. The last person he thought he would see here is his ex-boyfriend, Ivan Braginsky. But there was no mistaking the large Russian. He was wearing his trademark scarf around his neck, still the same color of tinted pink. His hands were tucked in the pockets of his black Timberland long coat with a white and silver snowflake wool cap on his head. Ivan was staring blankly at the blaze, barely moving as the people walked around him.

Alfred felt a hot blush come to his cheeks after seeing Ivan after so long. Seeing Ivan again was rekindling the old feelings he had for him. It all came flooding back. Their nights of sex together, cuddling on the couch, going to movies and traveling, playing house; all of these things were overloading his mind and threatening tears. Was this some kind of Christmas miracle? Or was it a Christmas disaster?

'Go up to him, Alfred! Just go up to him and say 'hi'!'

Alfred's rump seemed frozen to the bench. His heart was saying 'go', but his mind was saying 'stay'. He wanted to get up and speak to Ivan, but he wasn't sure what he should say. It would be awkward. What if Ivan didn't even want to talk to him?

'But I need to know.' Alfred said to himself. 'I need to know more about why we broke up. I need more answers!'

He found the courage to get up and go over to him.

"Well, well, fancy meeting you here!" Alfred greeted him with a big smile to hide the anxiety and heartbreak he felt once those violet eyes met his. Ivan seemed to have a surprised reaction.

"Oh, Alfred. I didn't know you were staying here."

Alfred crossed his arms, suddenly feeling annoyed. "I bet you're going to leave now that you know I'm here, right? Just like before?"

Ivan looked back towards the bonfire. "I understand that you're still hurting, Alfred. I don't know what more you want me to say."

"I want to know more about why we broke up!" He clenched his fists at his sides. "I…I've been thinking and…and a lot of what you said…and what we did…well, it just doesn't add up! Why did you start to pull away from me? Why didn't you want me anymore? Can you at least tell me that?" Ivan wouldn't answer. "Someone told me they saw you with another man! Were you seeing someone else when we were dating? Is that why you began to pull away from me?" Still, Ivan didn't answer. Alfred was growing angrier now. "If you hated me that much you should have just said so! But now I know your answer with your silence!" He roughly shoved passed him, not caring that he was putting on a show for the crowd.

'That bastard! Who does he think he is?' Alfred fought back the tears. 'I don't cry! Men don't cry! I'm Alfred F. Jones! I cry for no one, least of all myself!' He found another open wooden bench and sat on it, staring at the snowy ground around his boots. 'Don't cry, damn it! He's not worth crying over! He's not!'

Someone came and sat down next to him. Something in him hoped it was Ivan, yet when he looked up, all that greeted him was the warm amber eyes of Feliciano. Another came and sat next to him. He turned to see Arthur, who was showing a bit of concern in his heavy brows. Alfred shrunk a bit, feeling stupid and embarrassed now that he had made a scene in front of so many people.

"I bet you think I'm a stupid teenager now, huh? I acted like a kid."

Feliciano took the gloved hand in his own, patting the top. "You have feelings like everyone. It's nothing to be sad about!"

"We saw what happened and overheard." Said Arthur. "We brought you here to help you escape from him, and yet here he is."

"Yeah." Alfred replied flatly. "I think…I'm going to go back to my room."

Feliciano squeezed Alfred's hand. "You shouldn't be alone tonight."

"I'm not afraid of him."

"That's not what we mean." Arthur pat Alfred's back. "We mean you shouldn't be alone because of how you're feeling. Sadiq is always being thrown out of the bed. He can stay with you."

That made Alfred give a snort of a laugh. "I'd really rather be alone tonight. Just for tonight. I appreciate all you guys are doing for me but I would like to just watch shitty T.V., soak in the tub, and go to bed." 'Maybe drop the hair dryer into the tub with me.' He added silently to lightened up his mood. It didn't work.

"Can we at least walk you back to your room?" Feliciano asked in a whimper.

"That's cool. Thanks you guys."

A hot soak in a whirlpool tub is just what he needed to forget this night. While he knew it wouldn't actually work, it was worth a try.

/

Standing around the funnel cake and cocoa vender, Ludwig, Sadiq, Francis, Antonio and Gilbert were choosing to stay out of the little tantrum Alfred threw with Ivan. Lovino was off getting some wine and Heracles had fallen asleep on one of the benches with a thin layer of snow covering him. The other five enjoyed their cocoa while trying not to make eye contact with Ivan but constantly peeking at him.

"Do you think we should go over and say something?" Antonio asked.

Ludwig shook his head. "It's not our business."

"But Alfred's our friend," said Gilbert. "We owe it to him."

"Ivan's our friend too." Sadiq reminded them. "We only stopped talking to him when he broke up with Alfred."

Francis sipped his cocoa before answering. "That's only because he kept out of contact with us. I tried getting in touch with him but he never returned my calls. It's very rude." He said with annoyance.

"Oh shit!" Gilbert turned his head. "He saw us! Is he coming over?"

Ludwig glanced to the side and saw Ivan heading towards them. "He's coming here."

"What do we say? Do we ignore him?" Antonio asked, looking a little panicked. "This is becoming too awkward!"

"There's two sides to every story." Ludwig pointed out. "We never really heard Ivan's side of the relationship."

"I don't even know what to say to him!" Gilbert bit his lip.

Ivan finally came up to them, in speaking range, but it was Sadiq who spoke first.

"I love that coat, Francis! Where'd you get it?"

Francis caught on, gave a delightful laugh, and twirled on his tip-toe. "Do you like it? I had to special order this one! Isn't it such a magnificent and radiant red?"

Ivan frowned, staring at them.

"I can't wait to hit the slopes again tomorrow!" Gilbert grinned wildly. "You can just call me, 'The Powder King'!"

"Doesn't that mean heroine too?" Ludwig pondered out loud, making sure to keep away from Ivan, feeling the awkwardness.

"Not when we're skiing!" Antonio added with nervous laughter.

Ivan turned away from the others and stalked away.

They all let out a deep sigh of relief once Ivan was gone.

"Oh, that was real mature of us!" Francis said with a slap to his face.

"It's all Sadiq's fault!" Antonio pointed a finger at him.

Sadiq rolled his eyes. "I was tired of all of you pissing your pants like two year olds! He's just one guy. What's the worse that could have happened?"

"You're the asshole who started it!" Gilbert pointed out.

"None of you had to play along!" He countered. "No one else was stepping forward with a solution so, like usual, the old guy has to save the day!"

Antonio just shook his head. "We acted like mean girls! We should be ashamed ourselves. Maybe one of us should go after Ivan and apologize."

Gilbert quickly said, "Loser says 'whaaaat'."

Ludwig looked up from his cocoa. "What?" He realized they tricked him and he growled. "I'm the least likely one for this job!"

"But Ivan's scary when he's mad!" Francis whimpered, cowering away. "You can see the dark aura coming off of him when he's pissed! I'm waiting for his head to turn all the way around! He'll eat our children!"

"Ludwig's the bravest!" Gilbert grinned and gave his little brother a thumbs up.

"I have my constellation tour soon!" Ludwig countered. "I have to go find Feli." He cleared his throat. "However, I will say this. Like Francis said, some of us reached out to Ivan. It was Ivan's choice not to answer back. It's clearly none of our business, so keep your big noses out of it! If Ivan wanted our opinions, he would have asked for them when the breakup first happened." He sighed as he walked away. "I can't believe I'm even having this conversation."

The others all exchanged awkward glances and slurped loudly at their cocoa.

**End Chapter 1 TBC**

*****It's a holiday story. It's supposed to be tacky and light-hearted! ^^ Reviews please! Thank you!**

 


	2. Chapter 2

*****Thanks for the support guys! And thanks to my beta for catching my mistakes! ^^**

*****Warnings: Language, humor, angst, drinking, minor yaoi**

*****Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off this fic.**

**Chapter 2**

Alfred lounged in the hot tub with the whirlpools on high, bubbling loudly all around him while he swigged wine right out of the bottle. He didn´t care much for wine, but right now, anything alcoholic would work. He wasn't sure if it was sweat from the heat of the water or droplets from the raging bubbles as he wiped the moisture from his forehead. He was starting to feel a bit light headed.

Of all times and all places, Ivan had to show up here. It didn't go as well as he hoped when he first made the decision to approach Ivan. Why was the man here? What reason did he have for coming to this lodge? It was possible he heard about it over social media because Feliciano was never silent on those things about everything going on in his life. Did Ivan come here to find peace and happiness for the holidays as well? Alfred couldn't be sure. All he knew is that Ivan was here, which was only rekindling old feelings he had for the Russian man. Most of his anger washed away with the whirlpool bath yet his heartbreak remained the same. He wanted to know  _why_. Why did they  _really_  break up? What were Ivan's true motives?

The wine bottle was empty. He tipped it upside down make sure, watching a dark red drop dissolve in the water. Empty. That was all well and good for he started to feel a little tipsy anyway. He slouched further into the tub, letting the raging bubbles hit his face and nose. Nose. Ivan's nose. Ivan's stupid big nose.

"Damn it! I think someone up there is mocking me!" He shook his fist to the sky.

After the bath, he made himself a cup of coffee with the room's Keurig while turning on the gas powered fireplace. Wrapping a quilted blanket around his shoulders, he took a seat on the carpet in front of the fire, staring through the screen at its glowing dance. He and Ivan only sat in front of a fire once, in Russia, at Ivan's grandparent's house. They had sat just like this, with a blanket around them and a cup of vodka each. Yet now he was alone, with coffee, and an ugly quilted blanket. Nothing sweet or romantic about that. He briefly wondered what his friends were doing right now. Probably all cuddled up in their own blankets, in front of the fire, watching the snow falling out the window, together. Then he wondered what Ivan was doing.

'Does he have a lover here?' Alfred wondered. 'Is he curled up with his new lover right now? Is he thinking about me?'

Alfred hated being so mushy. He always took this kind of romantic drama for girls, not guys! Yet here he was, sulking on the floor, thinking about his past love and regretting the breakup. This wasn't like him. He was always so strong and could hide his feelings well but now he had proven to everyone that he was a pile of emotional baggage. He wanted to go home. Away from Christmas, away from love, and away from Ivan. Why did Ivan have to show up again? Why?

The snow was still falling outside. He glanced at it for a bit, remembering the time in Russia when they had a snowball fight. Alfred smiled as he remembered pummeling Ivan with snowballs; he won the fight. Ivan got a few hits in, though. Then they had built two snowmen with Alfred's begin bigger on purpose. Ivan had just laughed happily before using his booted foot to kick its head off. Alfred was at first shocked by the action, but then he threw his head back and laughed, with Ivan joining in.

"Hmph. Stupid snowmen." He frowned to himself. "Time for T.V. and bed."

The television kept him company. He watched the late night news for a bit while trying to fall asleep, using the words of the reporters to keep his mind busy with thoughts of something other than Ivan. But it didn't last. He was tossing and turning in the big empty bed. Unable to help himself, he looked over at the empty side of the bed, reaching over to rub at the cold spot. A spot that Ivan used to occupy. Right now, his friends were probably all asleep, wrapped tightly in one another's embrace, chasing away feelings of sadness and leaving only happiness. He remembered how warm Ivan used to be, how strong those arms were that held him tight, rubbing his back until he fell asleep. Alfred never let anyone know how mushy he was when he was dating Ivan. Never. It would soil his reputation as a bad-ass sports guy.

'I never thought I would care so much about one person who wasn't family. How can one person make you change so much?'

He finally feel asleep with images of Ivan smiling at him.

By morning, he was roused from sleep by his breakfast arriving. Starving, he hoped out of bed with his robe on to accept the tray of food. Licking his lips, he placed the tray on the computer table, poured some fresh coffee, and lifted the lids to his breakfast. His eyes sparkled with delight. Two Belgium waffles topped with whipped cream and powered sugar! For the sides he had crispy bacon, toast, sausage links, and grits? Frowning at the grits, he pushed the small bowl to the side and began eating his breakfast feast of carbohydrates for one.

He flipped on the television and found a local station playing 'It's A Wonderful Life'. Deciding to keep the classic on the television, Alfred took his time eating for he was in no rush to leave the room and run into Ivan again. But he couldn't hide out in his room for long because Feliciano would come looking for him. After breakfast he would take a quick shower and prepare for the day, hopefully without running into Ivan.

/

"Hooray! Ice skating!" Feliciano shouted happily, hopping up and down while Ludwig brought over their rented skates.

"Sit down so I can put these on you." Ludwig said, ushering his lover to a bench. "These laces will do nothing but confuse you."

Alfred was tying his own skates while watching the two interacting. Ludwig was usually a stern and no nonsense guy but when he was with Feliciano, it was like he was another person. For him to be with someone flaky like Feliciano was a mystery within itself, yet Ludwig was always very patient with his Italian lover. Alfred remembered how Ivan had tied on his skates, and he envisioned himself in Feli's place, with his ex-boyfriend putting on  _his_  skates.

Breaking away from the memory, he turned to the lake where the others were skating and tried his skills. It wasn't as bad as he thought! He took his time getting his feet and legs right before pushing off further on the ice. Once or twice he stumbled or lost his balance. Everyone else was having a great time.

Arthur and Francis skated side by side in perfect rhythm, both scarves flowing delicately behind them. Lovino and Antonio were both learning how to skate with an instructor who guided them along the ice. Heracles was doing what he does best, and that was giving Sadiq a hard time. Sadiq could be heard shouting, 'not so fast' as they spun in a circle. Heracles let go, sending the larger man spinning violently only to end up on his rump. The Greek simply skated away in a lazy fashion, leaving Sadiq to struggle to stand up on the ice. Alfred, with his skates on, went out to help his friend.

"Why do you let him treat you like this?" He asked Sadiq as he helped the man to his feet, steadying him on the ice while almost falling over himself if not for the quick reaction of the other's arm.

"Long story. Sometimes, I don't even understand it myself."

Alfred shook his head and raised a brow. "I know you've heard this many times before, but how do you two stay together? If Heracles hates you so much, why does he stay with you?" Alfred thought that, maybe if he got some insight on Sadiq's relationship it would help him to figure out his own.

"Herc just…sticks to me like glue." He answered. "For as much as he hates me, he's always with me so…I like to think this treatment is way of saying he likes me." He grinned.

"But isn't that what grade school kids do?"

Sadiq shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe. Our relationship is complicated, so I'm not the best one to ask about such things."

Alfred glanced down at his skates. "Am I that obvious?" He was momentarily distracted when he heard Feliciano cry out. The man was flailing his arms madly while trying to keep from falling back on the ice. Like a hero, Ludwig appeared quickly behind his lover and caught him, but fell in the process. Ludwig made sure that Feli landed on him and not the ice.

"Veh~ Ludwig! You saved me!"

Alfred had to turn away from the shower of kisses Feliciano was planting on Ludwig's frowning face.

"Alfred, go skating." Sadiq smiled at him. "Enjoy yourself."

"I'm trying…but with 'you know who' here…"

Sadiq nodded. "I understand. If you want, you can skate with me for a bit?"

"I would like that." He took Sadiq up on his offer and the two enjoyed some slow paced skating.

Afterwards, Alfred escaped from the others to go to the spa, eager to have his massage. In hopes of relaxing his body and mind, he added a few more treatments to his massage; an exfoliating body scrub, fifteen minute hand and scalp massage, Reiki, and hot stones. What good was having money if you didn't indulge once in awhile over the holidays? And since he was spending so much more, the spa gave him a one hour free soaking in the outdoor hot tub and sauna.

Everything was wonderful. The massage therapist's expert hands had left him in a drooling stupor on the heated bed. The rest that followed only added to his mental sensation, which was doing its job by making him forget about Ivan.

Once finished in the massage room he went to the soaking tubs but before going in he made a turn for the sauna first. He removed his robe once he stepped inside the large wooden sauna, tightening the tuck on his waist towel so no one would see him naked. There was only one other person in there with him.

"Gilbert?" Alfred saw the albino was laying on his towel, fully naked, and basking in the heat. Embarrassed, Alfred had to turn away quickly and keep his head in the opposite direction while sitting down on the bench. "I didn't know you were here."

His eyes were closed as he answered. "I really just came for the sauna. I skipped out on skating to go skiing and it's pretty cold out today, so I thought I would warm up here." He looked over at Alfred. "Take your towel off. Relax."

"Ah, that's okay. I like my towel on."

Gilbert smirked. "We're both guys!" He narrowed his eyes. "I think?"

Alfred glared at him. "Of course I'm a guy! I'm  _all_  guy!"

"Then take off your towel. I promise I won't laugh at you. I mean, I know it's hard to compare yourself with something as awesome as my junk!"

Alfred stuck out his tongue and looked away. "Men who have to brag about  _that_  constantly, in my experience, are those who are self-conscience about it."

"Bro, that was  _so_  not cool!"

"Sorry, but that's just how I see it."

Gilbert noticed the blush on Alfred's face. "You're blushing, aren't you? What? Are you embarrassed? I mean, seriously? You're acting as if no one has seen you naked before, and we know that's not true."

Alfred didn't know why he answered but he couldn't help himself. Keeping so much bottled up inside of him wasn't helping to get his mind off things. "Actually…Ivan's been the only one who has…seen me naked." He felt his face burning, not from the sauna but from his embarrassment. "Please, don't tell anybody, okay?"

Gilbert sat up without any shame. "Really? But, you were big in high school sports! Didn't you shower in the locker room after football?"

"We didn't have to shower. It wasn't required. And I always got changed in the bathroom stalls anyway."

"I never took you for the modest type." Gilbert said, stroking his chin. "It's kind of cute, actually. I mean, we all figured you were a man-virgin when you were dating Ivan but I didn't think you were THIS prudish!"

"Shut up." He grumbled, crossing his arms. "We're not all like you, you know."

Gilbert rolls his eyes. "Anyway, while we're on the subject and mostly naked, want to talk about it?"

Alfred lifted his gaze. "About what?"

"About Ivan. He's staying here at the lodge. I saw him this morning."

"Was he alone?"

"Yeah. He was having coffee at that little café. I didn't make eye contact with him. But what are you going to do? Just ignore him?"

Alfred shrugged his shoulders. "I guess. I mean, he saw me, he knows I'm here, but he hasn't put forth any effort to come to me so…I might as well drop it." 'But that's so hard to do'.

He wasn't sure if it was the heartbreak, the holiday romance atmosphere, or the fact that his friends were all enjoying themselves with lovers but it was getting harder for him to deny his jealousy. Maybe he should ask Sadiq about that ski instructor again. Gay and single, he might be interesting. His mind quickly said 'no'. The holidays shouldn't be spent with a new romance. At least, not in his case. Christmas was a special time of year where you really enjoy the romance of being in a relationship, almost like Valentine's Day only lasting longer. The merriment of the season, the snow, the gifts, the decorations and food, Christmas trees, sharing hot beverages, kissing under the mistletoe…

' _Hey, hey, you two!' Francis held the mistletoe above Ivan and Alfred from behind the couch. 'You know what this means!'_

_Alfred laughed while Ivan rolled his eyes in amusement._

' _Do you carry that thing around with you everywhere on the holidays?' Ivan asked the Frenchman._

' _Only when Arthur is pouty.' Francis said, making a kissy face. 'Now go on you two! Kiss! It's your first holiday kiss under the mistletoe!'_

_Alfred looked at Ivan with a smile, waiting for the other to lean forward. Ivan didn't hesitate and kissed him sweetly._

' _Amour.' Francis said with a heartfelt sigh._

_Ivan smiled at his lover. 'You want another eggnog?'_

' _Hell yeah!' Alfred answered. 'I'll come with you!' He followed Ivan to the dessert table._

_Antonio had taken out his guitar, wearing the ugliest Christmas sweater as he plucked the strings. 'Time for some caroling!' He broke out into 'O' Holy Night', but nearly broke their eardrums when he tried to reach the 'Oh night, divine' part. Lovino threw an olive at him, telling him to 'shut his pie-hole or else Jesus will appear and smack the shit out of him'. Everyone got a good laugh out of that._

_Arthur blew up something in the kitchen that had Ludwig running with the fire extinguisher. Alfred just leaned into Ivan, ignoring the stream of cursing German and clinked eggnog glasses._

' _TREE'S HERE!' Came Gilbert's booming voice as both he and Sadiq wrestled the evergreen through the door with Feliciano skipping merrily behind them._

' _Let me go help them.' Ivan said and kissed Alfred's cheek._

_Alfred held the eggnog glass for Ivan as he watched with Lovino and Arthur as the three began to stand up the tree. Ivan had to hold it steady with Sadiq while Gilbert screwed the bolts in from the stand._

' _Alright!' Antonio clapped his hands. 'It's the Griswold's family Christmas tree!'_

_It was hard to decorate the tree with Ludwig vacuuming up each little green needle that fell. Alfred proudly stood on the ladder to place the ornaments on the top while Feliciano and Gilbert worked on the bottom. Sadiq left suddenly, saying that he left Heracles asleep in the backseat of the car. Francis was finishing of the wine and swaying on his feet with Arthur scowling at him. The Brit set to cleaning up the paper plates and cups._

_When the tree was finished, and since it was Ludwig's home, he was granted the privilege of turning on the tree lights. Everyone waited anxiously. Alfred felt Ivan's arm around his waist and he turned to look up at his boyfriend who was smiling sweetly at him. He found himself grinning back, either blushing from the smile or too much eggnog but he was dizzy with the feeling of love. The lights came on, everyone clapped, but they just stood closer to one another, staring at the tree._

"Hellooooo?" Gilbert waved his hand in Alfred's face. "Snap out of it, buddy! You zoned out on me there!"

"Oh! Sorry! I was just lost in thought." He cleared his throat. "Must be all this steam. I think I'll go to the tubs now. The indoor ones."

"I'll come with you!"

"Sure." He gave a lopsided smile. "But please, put a towel on!"

After a long soothing bath and a spa shower, Gilbert and Alfred returned to their rooms only to change and meet up at the bar. Alfred ordered a rum and coke first, but after hearing Gilbert's constant, loud mouth yammering he ordered a White Russian. There he goes, thinking of Ivan again. Why did he have to order this particular drink?

'Whatever. It's not like I'm going home with anybody.'

Alfred didn't know when Gilbert wandered off but the German left him alone at the bar, with two empty glasses of White Russians and a half-full third one. Someone came down and sat beside him. He looked over, not recognizing the man smiling at him.

"Hey there. You look troubled." Said the man.

"You don't know the half of it." Alfred answered, taking another sip of his drink.

The stranger ordered a gin and tonic. "I got time if you want to share? Sometimes telling a stranger is easier than telling a friend."

He hiccupped. "Y-yeah. I don't know…I'm a little…um…" he looked at his glass. "Tipsy."

The man laughed. "You look more than tipsy."

"Hm." Alfred began to feel sick in his stomach. "Sorry man, hittin' the John."

He left the bar to stumble towards the restroom signs, which might be restroom signs but he didn't know any that had double images of a man and woman. He stumbled a bit but used the wall for leverage. Where was Gilbert? The albino could take him back to his room after the bathroom. With a hard stare at a sign he could make out the male symbol of the men's room and stumbled inside. Seeing the multi-tiled floor of mosaic colors made his eyes cross and his head spin.

'I think I'm gonna barf!' But he didn't. He leaned over the sink, feeling the need to vomit but only dry heaved. His body was sweating. He wanted a cold shower. A cold shower and then his bed. 'Who's that?'

A pair of arms wrapped around his waist from behind. "Here, let me help you back to your room."

Alfred went rigid in the stranger's arms, looking in the mirror to try and make out the man's face. It looked like the man who had been sitting next to him at the bar a few moments ago.

"No thanks." Alfred pushed him away. "I'll find my friend and go."

"I really think you should come with me. You're in no condition to go out there."

Alfred was suddenly wrapped in the stranger's arms and as he struggled, the other man held him tighter.

"Hey! Let me go!"

His back was pressed up against the man's chest so his fists and feet couldn't strike at the body. He did flip them, slamming the man into the wall, not once but twice. It only angered the stranger further and now, the man was fighting back. In his drunken haze, Alfred could only make blind swings at him. The stranger continued on grabbing him, trying to lock his arms down with his own big ones.

"Let me go!" He stomped on the man's foot but it did little good. Trying one more move, he bent himself forward in hopes of flipping the man over his head. But his drunken state, along with the sudden fast movement of his head overloaded his senses and he collapsed to the floor with the weight of the man on him. 'Shit!'

Now the vomit showed itself. He threw up a small puddle on the floor under the sinks. The weight of the man on his back only forced smaller bouts of acid flavored White Russian before him.

Suddenly, the weight was pulled from him and Alfred was able to find his breath again. He heard a struggle behind him as he tried to push himself up to a kneeling position. Through his liquor haze he saw two darkened forms with one shoving another out the door. Alfred sat back on his rump, using the stall wall for support as the blurred black figure came over to him. He squinted his eyes, trying to make out a face but with the dim lighting of the bathroom, the man only appeared as a frosted blur. But the man's smell was familiar. Cologne? Body mist? Finally, Alfred recognized the smell as something Calvin Klein. A very, very familiar Calvin Klein cologne.

"Ivan?" His eyes drooped closed.

/

A deep, long groan was the first thing out of Alfred's mouth when he woke up.

'Oh…dude…where am I?' Blinking his eyes open to the pain of the morning light, he saw the ugly moose and bear curtains of his hotel room. 'Huh? How did I get back here?' He rubbed his eyes. 'Wasn't I at the bar?'

Burying his face in the pillow, he thought back to the bar but couldn't remember anything after Gilbert walked away. He obviously drank to much, the throbbing headache, twisting stomach muscles and sensitivity to light alerted him to that. But he never remembered coming back to his room. Did Gilbert bring him back? He rolled over to see what time it was on the bedside clock but it wasn't the bright numbers he saw.

His eyes gazed blankly into the sleeping face and big nose of Ivan.

Alfred thought it had to be a dream. He noticed he was in his pajamas and so was Ivan, so they didn't have sex. Was Ivan the one who brought him back? If so, why was he still here? Why didn't he just put him to bed and leave? Alfred found himself wiggling under the covers to peek out of the white folds and stare at Ivan. Yesterday morning he was remembering Ivan being next to him and now, it seemed his wish was granted! A flood of emotions washed through him, anger and excitement, hate and love; he didn't know which was worse.

But to see Ivan again like this, sleeping soundly beside him like old times made his heart beat faster and even brought a smile to his face.

"Ivan?" He spoke the name softly.

Violet eyes opened slowly. "Hey." Came the soft response.

Alfred yelped, sitting up quickly only to get a shooting pain to his head and went crashing back down onto the bed.

"Owwwww! My head!" He whimpered.

Ivan sat up in the bed, brushing his hair from his face. "You past out last night at the bar with vomit all over you."

"I…I did?"

Ivan nodded. "A man tried to assault you in the bathroom. You fought him but didn't do so well, so I took care of him for you." He yawned. "I brought you back here, cleaned you up, and put you to bed."

"I know that." He gulped. "But…why did you stay? Were you worried about me?"

Ivan looked down at him. "You begged me to stay." He saw that Alfred was confused. "As I was washing you off in the tub you cried and begged for me to stay with you. Obviously, you were completely drunk and half the words were slurred, but I couldn't leave you here all alone. So I stayed."

Alfred watched him move about the room and changing in to regular clothes. "You don't have to leave so soon. I…I don't mind you staying longer." Ivan wouldn't look at him when he spoke.

"It's not really a good idea for me stay."

"But I want you to! I…I want us to get back together!" Alfred blurted out, and then covered his mouth, surprised at his own outburst.

Ivan finally turned to face him while pulling a sweater over his head. "Alfred…you're still hazy from the hangover."

"No, I'm not! I know what I'm saying now! I want more answers, Ivan! I want to talk about our relationship! Why did you break up with me?"

"I told you. We're just too different."

Alfred slammed his fists on the bed. "That's not good enough anymore! I need better answers than that!"

"Alfred, I'm not talking about this anymore with you." Ivan replied firmly. "It's over between us."

"But it doesn't have to be!" He forced himself out of bed. "We can talk it out! I deserve that much!" He wasn't accustomed to begging but now that he had Ivan so close he didn't want to let go. "I just want to talk. Please. Just a talk." Ivan was silent. "You helped me last night and you didn't have to!"

"That was me looking out for a friend. I would have done it for a stranger too."

Alfred blinked. "That's…the only reason you did it? That's why you helped me? It was just your civic duty?"

Ivan wrapped his scarf around his neck. "What did you think it was?"

"Um…n-nothing. I guess." He turned away from him. "Thanks for your help. You can leave now. See ya around."

"Take some aspirin for your hangover. I found a bottle in your travel bag and put it on the sink. Make sure to eat slowly at first, dry toast or plain oatmeal before eating heavier foods."

"Sure. Thanks. I'll do that. Bye." 'Just leave. Just leave you fucking bastard!'

"Feel better."

Alfred heard the door close behind him. Now that he was once again all alone, he let a steady stream of silent tears trickle down his cheeks. He went to the bathroom where the bottle was, taking out two pills and sipping from the faucet to swallow. He looked at himself in the mirror, watching the tears fall on an expressionless face. It felt like his heart and his pride were in a violent duel within in his belly and the results were simply silent tears. And he looked like Hell warmed over. Did he actually get assaulted last night? He couldn't remember, but what reason would Ivan have to lie? That's what he gets for letting himself get drunk without a buddy with him. Stupid.

A knock came at his door.

"Alfred? You up?" It was Feliciano.

'Shit!' "Yeah, I'm up!" He called out.

"Oh, good! Can I come in? I want to tell you about the cool things we have planned for today!"

Alfred stumbled out of the bathroom. "Um, not right now! I'm…I'm not feeling too good! Bad headache! I'll…I'll find you guys later!" Even though Feliciano could cry at the drop of a hat, Alfred didn't want the overly anxious man to see him crying and hover over him like a mother hen. He'd go right back to the group and tell the others.

"Are you sure you're okay? Should I call the First Aid person?"

"Nope! Nope, nope, nope! I'm fine! I just need to rest more! Too much to drink, you know?" He smiled blankly while wiping away the silent tears. "See you around Feli! Bye!"

"Uh…okay? Bye? I guess?" He knocked again. "Are you sure you're okay?"

'Stop caring so much you empty-headed cannoli!' "Oh no," he whispered. "Why did I think that?"

"Alfred?"

"I said I'm fine, okay!" He shouted towards the door. "Stop bothering me! Don't bother someone who has a nasty headache!"

Then the door was silent. Alfred slapped a hand to his face. He shouldn't have shouted at Feliciano like that. The man was only concerned for him and now he would run and cry to Ludwig. In a few minutes he would have the angry German banging on his door to scold him for making Feliciano cry.

"Well, at least I'm not the only one crying now." He got back into bed.

So Ivan didn't want to talk to him. Ivan made it very clear that their relationship was over, but for some reason, Alfred wasn't going to give up so easily. The sadness seemed to disappear along with his tears, leaving only annoyance and anger. He was Alfred F. Jones, popular sports radio personality! Star quarterback of his high school team! People called into his show to get his take on the latest game plays and ask for sports play advice. He would battle with other sport's fans who challenged his opinions with harsh humor. He could get, no, he could MAKE Ivan sit down and talk with him! And that's what he'll do.

"When my headache goes away." He groaned. "I'll give that big-nosed Russian a piece of my mind!"

/

Ludwig was leaving the gym after a quick workout and stopped at the café to get a small coffee. While there, he saw Ivan sitting at the coffee bar. Although it was none of his business, Ludwig decided to go over and talk to him after ordering his coffee. It was rude the way they all shunned Ivan when he came over to say 'hi' to them yesterday.

When he sat down next to Ivan, the man was so lost in thought that he must not have noticed him. Ludwig cleared his throat to get Ivan's attention, but the man ignored him. He tried again, only this time he said Ivan's name.

"Hm?" Ivan turned to look and was surprised to see Ludwig there. "Ludwig?"

"How are you?"

Ivan's gaze turned to his coffee. "I've been better. How about you?" He looked back at the blonde. "I notice everyone hates me now."

"No, we don't hate you. It's none of our business what went on between you and Alfred. Although, in our defense, you never reached out to any of us so for all we knew, you didn't want to bother with us."

"Fair enough." He sipped his coffee. "So, how are things? How's Feli?"

"Same as ever. Some people never change. And you?" Ludwig thanked the girl who brought his coffee. "How's your science been?"

Ivan scratched the tip of his nose. "I sort of changed to chemistry. I'm currently teaching high school chemistry while I finish my graduates. Master's degree and all that other stuff." He warmed his hands around the coffee. "And everyone else is good, too?"

Ludwig nodded. "So what brings you to the lodge?"

"My department has a meeting in the city after Christmas. This was one of the places that came up when I searched for somewhere to stay. It's an adult hotel, which I like, and I saw all the great stuff they have here that I booked my stay a bit longer than necessary. I hear the Christmas Eve and morning here are beautiful." He smiled. "I'm glad you're talking to me, Ludwig. I've missed many of you."

"Well, you understand why the others feel awkward around you." He said, sipping his coffee. Hazelnut. Delicious. He licked his lips. "Alfred reached out for them and told his side of the story but we never heard yours. And that is also your business."

Ludwig noticed that Ivan was looking a little distressed, which was odd for the usually pleasant man. He had to wonder if Ivan really wanted to explain his side of the story. The moment he had mentioned it, Ivan's face expressed the distressed look. Ludwig wasn't big on emotional talks. He was used to just being the listener, though, since Feliciano did nothing but cry and talk his ear off whenever his lover was upset. He supposed he should ask Ivan if he wanted to share his feelings about the breakup.

"Something you want to talk about?" Ludwig asked.

"You're actually the best one to talk to about this." He responded with a light smile. "You're less judgmental and always try to make yourself understand with logic and reason rather than emotions."

Ludwig lifted his brows, a little flattered. "Thank you." He took another sip of his coffee. "Go ahead. I'm listening."

"I cheated on Alfred." Ivan came right out and said it. "I cheated on him and he doesn't know."

"When was this?"

Ivan shrugged his shoulders. "About two months before we broke up. Maybe three. I don't fully remember." He rest his cheek on his palm. "It was a fellow chemist. A fellow student. He was my partner for almost every project and we had to meet outside of class often to discuss our lessons. I got to know him more. I was…impressed with his knowledge and I could compete with him on an intelligent level."

Ludwig nodded. "I can understand that. It's refreshing to have someone who can challenge you."

"Exactly. The more I hung around with him, the more I saw how…well…just how different Alfred and I were. Alfred liked to talk about sports and video games. I liked to discuss science and politics. Once the seed was planted," he looked down at his reflection in the coffee. "I started pushing further away from Alfred. I wanted to distance myself. Then I started to have doubts about our relationship while still feeling guilty about seeing another man behind his back. I wanted to make the breakup easy so I kept on distancing myself to make Alfred come to the conclusion himself. A shit move, I know, but it seemed right at the time."

"I see. So are you still with this person?"

He shook his head. "I broke up with him about a week after I broke up with Alfred." He gave a small snort. "Guilt threatened to tear me apart. I couldn't take it and figured it was better to be alone."

"In my opinion, you should tell Alfred all that you told me. I think, Alfred is angry at you for breaking up with him without solid validation. He probably didn't realize it at first because, well, like Feliciano, he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He just wants answers. If you give him solid answers then you can both have the closure you need. If you say you have guilt and Alfred I know has anger, admitting to all this will make it easier for the both of you."

Ivan smirked at him. "Does Feliciano have you watching talk shows?"

"Yes. If it's not a cooking show or a soap opera, it's a talk show." Ludwig answered. "But I really think you should consider my opinion. If you don't, then that's fine. It's your life." He got up. "I need to go get Feli. I'll see you around." Ludwig pat the other's back before leaving.

Ivan watched the large blonde leave before turning his attention back to the coffee. Ludwig had a valid point, and Ivan was right to have chosen the stern German to hear him out. Never once in his explanation was he scolded for being a human and making a mistake.

But last night had complicated things further. He kept this part from Ludwig because he was ashamed of himself. It was the dark, selfish part of him that revealed itself when he saw that man go after Alfred. If he hadn't had followed and spotted ,Alfred his ex-boyfriend would have been raped and left there, passed out drunk. The idea of Alfred with anyone else made him jealous. It made no sense to him that he would feel so possessive of Alfred like that. He told himself it was wrong to break up with Alfred and then not let the man be free to find someone else. How selfish of him.

However, Alfred showed no signs of anger last night after he was bathed. Ivan almost had to fight him off, as well as an erection, when Alfred tried to force them into sex. Alfred, drunk and mindless, stood before him in the bathrobe with the center parted fully. He proceeded to have Ivan make love to him. Ivan, while tempted, politely pushed him away for he was not going to take advantage of his drunken ex-boyfriend.

Yet like a snake to a charmer, Ivan was fixated on those lidded cornflower blue eyes as Alfred pushed him over to the bed. Without a sound, Ivan had laid back on the bed, watching with hungry eyes as Alfred crawled over him. The robe remained open, showing him the smooth contours and muscles of Alfred's athletic body. Alfred wanted him, and the sport's radio host let him know it. He breathed 'take me' and 'let's have sex' or 'let's make love' against his lips and ears. Ivan had to build up all of his will power to control his erection and deny them both of sexual pleasure. Alfred was hurt by his refusal but it was quickly forgotten once he hit the sheets and pillow, snoring loudly. Ivan had jerked off into the toilet, keeping the image of Alfred in his head until he decided to stay with Alfred for the night. No sex, no hugging, no kissing.

"Just a concerned friend looking after another friend." He said out loud to himself but that still did not justify the possessive feelings he had for Alfred right now. "I think I will talk to Alfred like Ludwig said. What do I have to lose?"

End chapter 2 TBC

 


	3. Chapter 3

*****Thanks for all the support guys! Hope this fic is helping some to get into the holiday mood? Let me know, okay! Special thanks to my beta for her hard work! Read on and enjoy! Lots of drama in this one, my friends!**

*****Warnings: Language, humor, angst, drama, comfort food**

*****Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Alfred texted Feliciano, asking where he was so that he could apologize for yelling at him earlier. He waited in his room, listening to the Christmas music station on the television, while waiting for a reply. Bobbing his head to 'Jingle Bells', he played Angry Birds on his phone until the message icon came up in the corner. He shut the game off and read the text from Feli.

' _It's okay. I wasn't upset, just worried! Come meet me and Francis at the coffee shop!'_

He met the two at the coffee bar and ordered a cappuccino with a slice of cheesecake. Feliciano and Francis were sharing a dessert cup of tira misu.

"So what happened last night?" Feliciano asked. "Gilbert said he lost you at the bar."

Alfred licked the foam from his top lip. "Eh, I ran into a little trouble."

"What kind of trouble?" Francis looked concerned.

"Well…it's um…it was me being stupid, really. I shouldn't have drank so much or else I would have been in better control of myself. Some strange guy followed me into the men's room, while I was drunk off my ass, and tried to get with me." Feliciano gasped with his hands over his mouth and Francis just shook his head. "I fought him off and would have won, but I was saved at the last minute. I don't remember much of it, just bits and pieces."

Francis gave him a curious look. "Who saved you then? Gilbert said he couldn't find you and he figured you had left."

"Ivan saved me." Alfred expected the two to be silent. "I was surprised myself." He left out about Ivan spending the night. "He brought me back to my room, told me what happened, and I passed out."

"I'm glad Ivan showed up when he did!" Feliciano sipped his coffee nervously. "We're relieved you're okay."

"Me too. That's why I'm going to find Ivan now and tell him thanks, and then maybe…we can talk again."

"Good luck to you, then." Francis toasted him with his coffee. "Hope everything works out."

Feliciano nodded. "Yup! And if it doesn't, you and me will go in my room and eat ice cream."

Alfred laughed. "I might take you up on that offer anyway, Feli! Good news or not! Whatever happens, happens. That's how I'm looking at it!"

Francis nodded proudly. "That's the attitude to have!"

Alfred downed his coffee. "I'm going to go find him! I'll see you guys later!"

He wandered around the lodge in search of Ivan, all the while his heart was pounding nervously in his chest. There was so much he wanted to say to Ivan, and he kept playing it over and over in his head. He would mess something up. When he did see Ivan, he would act all cool-like, acting as if the conversation was simply casual. He smiled proudly to himself, feeling confidence even though his nerves were a little shaky.

But where was Ivan? Alfred was starting to grow bored with the search, wondering if he should stop and just wait for Ivan to show up. And then, he caught sight of the Russian going outside through the main doors. Alfred quickly followed, nearly knocking over a cardboard cutout of Santa along the way. Once through the doors, he looked left and right for signs of Ivan. The pink scarf was a dead giveaway. Not only that, but Alfred had to smirk at the Russian-style commie hat Ivan was wearing. At least, that's what he called it. Ivan never said anything, always allowing him to have his little jokes. Ivan rarely got offended.

"IVAN!" He called after the man.

Ivan stopped when he heard his name. He turned to see just the man he had wanted to see. Alfred. Ivan gave him a wave, watching as his ex-lover came jogging over. Ivan had a quick image of Alfred and what he looked like after a jog. Alfred wasn't dressed in running shorts and a tight tank top this time, but the memory brought him a bit of joy, like a small flame just ignited.

"Hello Alfred. I was hoping to see you today."

"Oh yeah?" Alfred felt his heart beat faster at Ivan's words. Ivan gave him a nod. "It's probably about last night, huh? Sorry about that. I was stupid for getting drunk in public like that."

"You're lucky I was there to help you."

"Yeah. Thanks for that." He was at a loss for words.

"Can we go somewhere to talk? I think we have a few things to clear up."

Alfred just nodded. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, we can. Um, there's a…a gazebo over there. Let's go there."

The gazebo was small, just enough to fit a few people inside of it. They took a seat on the cold bench, sitting on opposite edges, and looking away from the other. It was an awkward silence. Alfred tried to concentrate on the mountains in the distance and the wintery wonderland surrounding them. Ivan was trying to think of the best way to bring up the topic at hand. A cardinal landed on the railing near Alfred, tilting its head and tweeting. It ruffled its feathers for a moment before taking off to the sky again, a fast red speck on white.

Alfred smiled. "I wish I could fly. I mean, like not in an airplane, but really fly with wings and all! I would be an eagle, of course! What kind of bird would you be, Ivan?"

"I've never really given any thought to being a bird." Ivan turned and looked at him. "But when I was little, I always wanted to be a rabbit."

"A rabbit?" Alfred repeated with amusement. "Why a rabbit? Why not like, a big bear or a wolf or something?"

'Typical Alfred.' Ivan said to himself with a little roll of his eyes. "Rabbits are fast and cunning. They may be a prey, but they can trick predators and escape. They're also cute."

"You always did like animals." Alfred said. "It's a shame we never got that puppy. Remember? The one we saw at the shelter?"

Ivan nodded. "Our lives were too busy for a pet, Alfred. We've been over this."

"That's why it's called 'crate training'." Alfred countered. "I was home more often than you, you know. I could have taken care of it!"

Ivan gave him a 'yeah right' look. "You couldn't even remember to feed the beta fish."

"That's different! A fish is boring! It just swims in a circle! A puppy is fun and always with you and likes to play! You can't compare a puppy to a fish!"

"It's the point, Alfred. The point of the matter is that you are not responsible enough for such a commitment like a pet."

Their conversation fell silent for a moment.

"I was committed to you." Alfred suddenly spoke but would not look at Ivan.

Ivan held his breath. The word 'committed' reminded him of what they were sitting here to talk about. "You were."

"But you weren't committed to me."

"I wasn't." Ivan responded flatly, and then said, "I made a mistake."

Alfred glanced over at him. "A mistake? Like what? You regret us breaking up?"

Ivan crossed his arms. "Actually…it's the reason why we broke up. And it really had nothing to do with you." He looked over to see that Alfred was looking at him now with concerned blue eyes. "It's me, not you."

"That's the oldest couple saying in the book, Ivan." He said flatly.

"But it's true. I had…a moment of weakness. I ask that you hear me out first before saying anything." Taking a deep breath, Ivan spoke his words calmly. "When we started to drift apart…that was me feeling guilty because I was seeing someone else."

Alfred stared at him.

"A fellow student. We had many group assignments and worked closely together in the labs." He looked down at his folded hands. "It was nice to work closely with someone who understands science and chemistry. I couldn't have that with you. I would have liked for you to try and take an interest in what I studied but you always just shut your mind off quickly. Just assuming you didn't have the mental capacity to understand it. I know you do, but you don't see that. So…I started seeing this man after school. We began to do things together…small dates and things like that. That's why I started to distance myself from you. I was…feeling guilty. Terribly guilty."

Alfred was shaking. It wasn't out of fear or cold but frustrated anger. Out of all the things Ivan could say to him, cheating was NEVER something he actually expected the man to say. He had thought about it, yes, but he never though Ivan would have seen someone else behind his back. He thought Ivan was better than that. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"So…all those nights you came home late…smelling like lavender…and looking tired and rugged…and pushing me away…you were really-"

"Seeing someone else." He finished for him. "Yes. He always used lavender hand lotion."

Alfred bit his bottom lip, trying to remain calm. "Did you...fuck him?" Normally, Alfred wouldn't use the word 'fuck' to refer to sex but with this situation it seemed appropriate. His finger were drumming on his knees while waiting for an answer.

"Yes."

"Then you would get into bed with me?"

"Yes."

"After you were in someone else's bed?"

"Yes."

"And you've slept with me even after fucking this other man?"

"No." Ivan shook his head. "If you recall, our sex life started dwindling. I respected you too much."

Alfred shot up from the bench and shouted at him. "Oh, thanks a lot! I'm so glad you respected me soooo much that you spared me THAT!"

"Keep your voice down." Ivan said calmly.

Alfred grit his teeth for a moment. Ivan was right, he didn't want to embarrass himself so he sat back down, only this time, he never took his glare off of Ivan.

"So that's what it's all about then? You were bored with me because I don't like science? You don't like sports! But you know what, that's fine, because even though we were together we didn't have to like EVERYTHING the other does! We did lots of fun things together!

Ivan nodded. "We did. But it was my guilt, my moment of weakness, my stupidity, that made us separate." Ivan let his features soften after he saw Alfred fighting back tears. "It's all my fault. I broke it off with him before you and I broke up. But Alfred, I couldn't bear to keep looking at your smiling face welcoming me home when I knew I was doing something wrong. It wasn't fair to you. I couldn't be around you knowing that I had cheated on you."

"So instead of telling me the truth you just dump me?"

Ivan looked away. "It seemed the right thing to do. While I was making that mistake, I was having doubts about our relationship already. I don't know who started to drift first, but something in me was…doubting your love for me. I don't know why." He met Alfred's angry gaze again. "I tried to make things easier on myself by keeping us apart. All it did was torture you instead. Nothing can make up for what I did…but at least now you know. And you can stop wondering."

Alfred stood up. "Well, I hope you enjoyed fucking him and getting off on 'science'! Screw you, Ivan! Merry-Fucking-Christmas!" He stormed away from the gazebo, taking out his phone and calling Feliciano. He was a mix of emotions but the strongest one was anger. 'I should have punched him in his big stupid nose, that jerk! Ugh, don't cry, Alfred. He's not worth crying over!'

'Hello? Alfred?' Feliciano answered.

"Feli? How quick can you get that ice cream?" He tried to keep his voice from breaking. Feliciano was silent on the other end for a moment.

'Room service will send it right up.'

"I what chocolate. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, whipped cream and sprinkles and chocolate syrup and-"

'I'll have 'the works' sent up. Come to my room. I'm heading there now.'

Alfred licked his lip. "Can I…bring some beer?"

'…Ludwig has ale here. Bottled ale.'

"That's fine. I'll see you in a bit!"

/

Ivan remained on the bench, staring at his boots blankly, and thinking about Alfred. He hoped that telling Alfred about what happened would get them both closure, but all it did was make things worse. He didn't blame Alfred at all for acting out the way he did. Ivan knew he had made a big mistake by cheating on Alfred. He should have resisted temptation, talked about his doubts with Alfred, and try to work it out. Instead he broke off the relationship.

"I'm terrible."

"You're more than terrible." Came a voice from out of nowhere.

Ivan, confused, looked around him in search of the mystery voice. He saw a black hat with cat ears peeking out from behind the gazebo. Looking down, he saw that Heracles was sitting in the snow, his back up against the gazebo, and feeding some birds. Was he there the whole time?

"Were you listening?"

"I heard every word." Heracles replied slowly. Very slowly.

"I suppose you're going to go share this with everyone now?" Ivan asked.

Heracles tossed out some more bird seed. "No. It's not my business."

"Then, I'm sorry you had to hear all that."

"I'm sorry Alfred had to hear what you did to him."

Ivan sighed. "I made a mistake. I told him I was sorry."

" 'Love means never having to say you're sorry.'" Heracles quoted 'Love Story'.

Those words startled him. "But people make mistakes."

"And people pay for them. You came home to Alfred smelling like another man. If Sadiq did that, I'd kill him. You're lucky Alfred is the way he is. He'll forgive you in time, but he won't forget."

"I'll hate myself more if he forgives me. I wouldn't forgive me."

"I wouldn't forgive you either." He got up and tossed some birdseed behind him, striking Ivan in the face, which was his plan. The birds quickly flew into the gazebo in search of the birdseed.

Heracles walked off calmly as the birds attacked Ivan.

/

Alfred was already halfway through his massive sundae of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. He had the scoops swimming in chocolate sauce, dotted with thousands of rainbow sprinkles, and topped it off with a tower of whipped cream. Feliciano was eating out of the carton, trying to indulge in as much strawberry as he could before Alfred consumed it all. They were both dressed down, in sweatpants and sweaters. Feliciano's sweater was basic black and the sweatpants said 'Italia' down the leg in red, green and white letters while Alfred's was a full matching set with the Batman bat symbol all over it.

So far they haven't spoken at all about Alfred's conversation with Ivan because he was wolfing down all the ice cream. Finally, Feliciano brought up the topic.

"Now tell me exactly what happened."

Alfred swallowed the next spoonful before speaking. "You know why he was being so distant from me back then? He was cheating on me!"

"Cheating?" Feliciano gasped. "Ivan? Ivan was cheating on you? With another man or a woman?"

Another spoonful. "A man. A fellow student, apparently." He made a disgusted sneer. "He said I wasn't 'science-y' enough for him!" He opened a bottle of ale to take a few chugs. "He wanted someone to talk science with! Can you believe it? Science! What the hell kind of dating discussion is that?"

Feliciano put a dab of whipped cream on his own spoonful of faded pink. "He had a moment of weakness."

"That's what Ivan said! I'm sorry, but I don't see that as an excuse!"

"Not many people do. So what else did he say after he told you about the other man?"

More sprinkles. "They were having sex and then he'd come home and get into OUR bed. Smelling of lavender. I hate lavender."

Feliciano shook his head, ashamed. "That's terrible of him, Alfred. I can't believe he would do that."

"Oh!" he said with a mouthful of ice cream before pausing to swallow. "You know how he justifies that? He said he was 'feeling guilty'! Felling guilty, that's what he said! That's why he was pushing away from me because he felt GUILTY that he was fucking someone else behind my back! Instead of working it out with me, he ups and dumps me! Just like that!" He gave a frustrated sigh.

"He probably thought he could escape his guilt that way."

"Well, he's wrong! It still bothered him. He wanted to tell me the truth, and now that I have it…well…I wish I didn't know the truth! I don't even know how to feel!" He took another spoonful. "Half of me wants to cry and the other half wants to just break something in anger." More chocolate syrup. "What would you do in my place, Feli? Would you forgive Ludwig if he told you he had a 'moment of weakness'?"

Feliciano, looking shy with the spoon hanging from his mouth, gave a little nod.

"What? You WOULD? If Ludwig cheated on you with another man you'd forgive him?" Another nod was his answer. "Why? How?"

"I love Ludwig, that's why." He smiled sweetly. "I would forgive Ludwig if he cheated on me once."

What about if it was MORE than that?"

"Then we would have a problem." Feliciano admitted. "But I wouldn't give up on him. If anything, I would work harder to keep him, because I love him."

Alfred shook his head. "No, Feli. You're settling if you do that. You shouldn't be with someone who cheats on you all the time. I mean, I know Ludwig would never do it. It's not in his character, which is probably why you can answer like that. You have no idea what I'm going through. You have a boyfriend who adores you!" More chocolate ice cream.

"Ivan adores you too, Alfred." Feliciano smiled at him. "Haven't you ever noticed? Haven't you ever seen it?"

He raised a blonde brow. "What do you mean? We had a good relationship, Ivan and I. And if he adored me, like you say, then why did he cheat on me?"

"Who knows why people do things." Feliciano answered. "But I've known you both for a long time. I've seen how Ivan looks at you when we were all out together. I would catch the long stares and adoring face. He adores you, Alfred."

"I just don't believe that."

There was a knock at the door. Feliciano got up and opened it to reveal Sadiq holding a pizza.

"Does someone need a meat lover's pizza with extra cheese?" Sadiq said as he looked at Alfred.

Alfred dropped the spoon. "Do I ever! Dude, you are a life saver!" He got up and took the pizza from Sadiq. "How did you know?"

Sadiq thanked Feliciano when he was let inside. "Heracles told me. He was actually sitting at the base of the gazebo behind you guys, feeding the birds, when he heard your whole conversation. He told me right away and we ordered a pizza for you. Figured you'd needed it about now."

"I do. Thanks." He gave Sadiq a thoughtful smile. "Want to join us? We're talking about Ivan."

"Sure, thanks." He sat down with them, dishing out the pizza on paper plates. "So what are you going to do?" He asked Alfred. "About Ivan's confession."

"I don't really know." Alfred said and took a bite of pizza. "I can't get over what he did. He was sleeping beside me, in our bed, and he had been with another just hours before! I don't understand it. Feliciano said he would forgive Ludwig if he had a 'moment of weakness'. What would you do, Sadiq? If Heracles cheated on you?"

Sadiq thought silently while chewing the pizza. "I would end the relationship." He finally answered. "Relationships are built on trust, not just love. Ivan betrayed your trust."

"But he realized his mistake." Feliciano countered, skipping over the pizza to have more strawberry ice cream. "Everyone makes mistakes, you guys. And people learn from their mistakes. Ivan's learned his…so you should forgive him."

"Why, Feli?" Alfred asked, hearing the tone in his own voice. "What's to say he won't cheat again if we get back together?"

Sadiq spoke first. "Who said anything about getting into a relationship again?" He pointed out, giving Alfred a sideways glance. "Sounds to me like you want a relationship with him again, but are holding back because of his confession."

Alfred glared at Sadiq. "No! I don't want a relationship with someone I can't trust!"

Feliciano tilted his head and looked at Alfred with sympathy. "Then why are your eyes moist?"

"They aren't moist! I don't cry!" He defended himself quickly. "I just don't know what to do! It's annoying! I don't…I don't know how to feel. I feel sad and angry and annoyed all at the same time!" He bit frantically at the pizza. "Comfort food." He said with his mouth full.

"Did Ivan apologize at least?" Sadiq asked and Alfred nodded. "But that's not enough for you. It wouldn't be enough for me, either."

Feliciano just looked at them both back and forth. "You two would torture yourselves. It's important for people to have someone special in their lives! You should give Ivan a second chance. You clearly want a relationship again, so you should go for it."

Sadiq took another piece of pizza. "Or at least make the relationship just for the holidays and then dump him. That works too. Sometimes being selfish is the best way to keep yourself from getting hurt."

"That won't happen." Alfred answered flatly.

"Well," Feliciano nervously nibbled his pizza and blushed. "What about…friends with benefits?" He saw both set of eyebrows go up. "Alfred, you always told me how good the sex was with Ivan. Maybe you can be selfish that way. Have your cake and eat it too, you know? Lots of people do that. That way, you can still be connected with Ivan but not be considered an official couple."

Sadiq gave Feli a curious look. "I never thought I would hear that out of your mouth."

"It's an option. Not that I agree with it." He added. "But in Alfred's case, it may help?"

"I…don't think I could do that." Alfred stated honestly. "I don't know if sex with Ivan is good. I mean, I love it. I wanted to do it as often as we could. But at the same time, Ivan's been the only man I've been with. He's my first and only so far. Sex could be better with someone else, right?"

"Absolutely." Sadiq answered. "But, at the same time, you have to understand something." He handed Alfred another piece of pizza. "Fucking for fun can be good, sometimes the best, physically. However, being with someone you love only adds to the emotional sensation. Coupling together is the greatest form of spiritual and physical connection. It's as far as lovers can go to be together. You make your own special pleasure with the one you love, and that, my friends, is what makes 'making love' better than fucking."

Feliciano nodded happily. "Mental love is stronger than physical love! Veh~." He sighed dreamily.

"So, you're saying," Alfred started. "That if I find someone else to be with, the sex can be good, but if I don't love them, then it's not good?"

"Eh. Kind of." Sadiq moved on to the ice cream. "It's like a free app on your phone. You are the free app, but there is more to you, only you have to be paid for. To operate fully, you need to be purchased so you can work to full capacity. Right now, you are a free app. Ivan is the full purchase app. When you two come together, you operate smoothly. But, you can still function on your own. Get it?"

Alfred stared at him, and then let out a little laugh. "That was the strangest, but coolest metaphor ever!"

"Does it make you feel any better?" Sadiq asked.

"Not really, but it gives me something to think about. Let's change the subject for a bit. I have a headache."

/

Ivan stared at one of the Christmas trees in the main lobby. He had to get a shower in his room due to all the birdseed in his hair, before he could venture out. In a way, he knew he deserved what Heracles did to him, even if it was a little bizarre. Nothing had gone as well as he had hoped.

He thought back to the very first Christmas he and Alfred spent together as a couple. Ivan didn't want a real evergreen tree in his apartment, so he left the tree hunting up to Alfred and let the man put it in HIS apartment instead. Alfred loved Christmas more than any other holiday with Halloween coming up as a close second. Alfred texted him very early one wintery, snowy morning to say that he had gotten the tree and to come over and help decorate. Ivan wasn't too keen on going out in the cold so early in the morning. He liked the heat more than the cold. But his lover had needed him, and the holiday meant a lot to Alfred, so he went over.

' _Merry Christmas, Ivan!' Alfred hugged him as he walked in the door._

' _It's only December 6, Alfred.' Ivan was nearly blinded by all the brightly colored decorations in the small apartment. It looked like a circus tent that the aliens could see from space._

' _So? It's still the Christmas season! Come check out the tree! Look! I got a really big and fat one this year!'_

_Ivan looked at the tree, all wrapped up in netting and twine in front of the main window. The area smelled of pine and sap, making him crinkle his nose. 'I'm sure it will look better open?'_

' _Of course!' Alfred held up a pair of scissors. 'I didn't want to cut it open until you came! Here we go!' He cut the twine and netted, letting the branches of green fall into place, along with numerous green needles on the Rudolph tree skirt. 'Ta-Daaaaaa!'_

_Ivan clapped softly. 'Tree.'_

' _Oh, come on! It's a great tree! Just wait until you see it when it's all done! Now let's get started!' Alfred reached into his box and pulled out a bunch of colored lights, both big and small, in one big tangle. 'You can untangle the lights. I'll go make cocoa!'_

_Ivan looked at the bundle of mess that was, an estimated, over three hundred Christmas lights._

' _They twinkle too!' Alfred added from the open kitchen._

' _Splendid.' Ivan said with a forced smile before sitting on the floor to begin the untangling of green wire and tiny bulbs._

_Once he was finally finished, he let Alfred know that they were ready and proceeded to put them on the tree when his lover stopped him. Alfred told him to test the lights first to make sure they all work. Frowning, Ivan checked them like Alfred said and found that they were not working. His eyebrow twitched in frustration._

' _Ah, they don't work. Don't worry, I have more! In that bag on the couch there's new boxes of twinkling lights. Use those.' Alfred said from the kitchen while rolling out sugar cookie dough._

_Ivan slowly turned his head to stare at Alfred in the kitchen. Did he REALLY just make him untangle all those lights when he had brand new ones? Ivan wondered momentarily just how strong a string of Christmas lights could be if used to strangle someone. But, without complaint, he took out the new boxes and began putting the lights on the tree. It was all peaceful until Alfred switched on his stereo to blast some holiday music. Ivan was nearly knocked over by Paul McCartney's 'Wonderful Christmas Time' blaring in his ear._

' _Sorry!' He called over and lowered the volume. 'I was listening to it over the vacuum cleaner!'_

' _It's alright.' Ivan said softly. 'I didn't need that eardrum anyway. I have another.' Alfred laughed at him. 'Are you helping me at all?'_

' _Yeah! Just let me get the cookies in the oven!'_

_Finally, Alfred joined him at the tree with a box of ornaments and garland. Ivan continued with the lights and garland while Alfred started on the ornaments. They were half way through decorating the tree when 'Baby, It's Cold Outside' came on and Ivan started to sing softly to himself._

_Alfred looked amused as he put up a red ball. 'You know this song?' Ivan answered with singing Dean Martin's part, making Alfred blush and chuckle. 'Stop it! That's stupid!'_

' _What's stupid about it?' Ivan asked with a grin._

' _Guys don't sing to other guys! It's weird!' Ivan answered again by singing. 'Stop!' Alfred laughed. 'I'm not a chick!'_

' _I know that. But you're blushing, so you must like my singing.'_

' _Well…it is kind of nice.' Alfred replied. 'But it's weird. It's like you're serenading me or something.'_

_Ivan peeked around from behind the tree. 'Maybe I am?'_

' _Not in front of Rudolph!' Alfred laughed and pointed to the stuffed animal of Rudolph the Reindeer he had sitting on his sofa._

_Ivan pulled him up from his kneeling position on the floor. 'Let's see if we can make Rudolph's whole face glow red.' Alfred blushed at that and Ivan just grinned. 'Baby, it's cold outside.''_

Sex under the Christmas tree happened not once but three times after that night. Something about Christmas had Alfred extra horny during their love making, especially when he made Ivan put on the Santa hat. That was a little weird the first time, but the second time it happened, it was even more bizarre because Alfred wore reindeer antlers. Him in a Santa hat and Alfred with fuzzy antlers. All Alfred was missing was the big red nose. Ivan could never look at Santa and Rudolph again after that night.

It was a nice memory, though. One that had him smiling. He and Alfred had many extra special romantic nights during the holiday season that always ended with Christmas sex. Alfred was always the one to start it, always by the Christmas tree. They would end up in a mess of tangled limbs covered in tinsel or small pine needles.

He had to stop thinking about sex with Alfred in public for the memories were making him erect. It was shameful of him to still be thinking about making love with Alfred after the fight they just had. But he couldn't help it. Seeing Alfred again wakened the old emotions. He had been Alfred's first, a title that he still holds dear. Alfred had remained fully faithful to him, while he had to go and test the waters with someone else. He betrayed Alfred's heart and trust, he knew that. But after today, their relationship was over. There was no way Alfred would forgive him for what he'd done. Yet the thought of Alfred with someone else reminded him of his jealousy, which meant that he still must love Alfred. He was afraid of the word 'love'. Alfred could say it freely, but he had a harder time making the words come out. He could feel love, but for some reason, it was always hard to say out loud.

"Poor Alfred. I really ruined his holiday."

He turned away from the tree and went back to his room.

End Chapter 3 TBC

 


	4. Chapter 4

***Thanks for the feedback guys! And special thanks to my beta for her hard work!

***Warnings: Yaoi, language, fluff

***Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

The following morning, Alfred woke up in his bed with a terrible stomach ache. He glanced out the window to see that there was fresh falling snow. Normal people would find this a very picturesque winter morning, but with his 'last night regrets', he simply wanted to die. He wasn't even sure how he got back to his room but he could assume that either Feli or Sadiq helped him. And all of this pain had to do with Ivan.

'Damn you, Ivan…why'd you have to go and do something like that?'

He said to himself while getting up to gulp down some Pepto Bismol in his travel bag. He always carried the tablets or the liquid with him wherever he went for these types of emergencies. Ivan one time called him an 'old man' for having to carry around Pepto Bismol or Maalox tablets due to his eating habits. Alfred had countered with reminding Ivan that he had to take Beano whenever they went out to eat, especially at American food restaurants. Ivan never seemed like he was able to handle solid good ol' American food.

'He never complained, though.' Alfred said to himself in the mirror. 'Maybe…maybe I was taking all his silence and easy-going personality as just a nice guy who liked being my boyfriend. Maybe Ivan was thinking differently and didn't want to say anything.' He looked at the little smiling moose soap dispenser on the sink. 'And I never really said 'no' or, 'let's go someplace you like'. Well, sometimes I did…but not often.'

Alfred began to wonder if he didn't subconsciously push Ivan away during the course of their relationship. Maybe that's a reason why Ivan sought out someone who he could relate to more on an interest level basis. Maybe he just wasn't considerate enough to Ivan's feelings.

"Gah! This is too complicated!" He said loudly, slapping both hands to his face. "Last night I was feeling one way now I'm feeling another!" Love really does hurt.

Late morning, Alfred emerged from his room, went to the gym, came back and cleaned up, and then hit the slopes with the snowboard. But there was one problem he was having on the slopes; falling. More than once he could count on two hands, and toes, how many times he fell. It was rare for him to mess up snowboarding this badly. Some hot cocoa would make him feel better, so he ordered himself a large, with extra marshmallows and whipped cream. He ignored the strange look from the vender.

Taking a seat on a frosted bench he sipped his cocoa and watched as others gleefully skied down the slopes. His extreme suckage had to be from his distraction of Ivan. Last night at the comfort food, sixth-grade girl slumber party, he seemed to have his mind made about Ivan; to let him go and move on. But today, he found he was thinking about Ivan a lot, and instead of focusing on what Ivan did he kept thinking about what HE did to PUSH Ivan to stray. Ivan said himself that he found comfort in someone who shared in more of his interests.

"I need to talk to someone. Someone good. Someone who will give me an honest, honest answer." He opened his phone to text Ludwig.

Fifteen minutes later, he and Ludwig were at the bar sharing in some apple cider. Alcoholic cider, something Alfred never had but was eager to try it after seeing how much Ludwig enjoyed it. Talking to Feliciano helped him to feel better emotionally, knowing that he had such good friends to support him, but that didn't solve his issue. Sadiq offered strange and bizarre advice yet delivered a half-hearted solution. That solution didn't settle well. Hopefully, with Ludwig, the stoic German would be able to open his eyes to something he wasn't seeing.

"I heard all about this from Feliciano this morning." Ludwig said. "What exactly do you need from me?"

"Honest answers. I feel like, you're the only solid good guy to talk to about this. You'll give me a straight answer, and that's what I need."

Ludwig's brows frowned. "I'm not good with relationship advice, Alfred. What happened between you and Ivan is your business."

"Yeah, it is my business but I can't run the business alone." He sucked the foam off his cider. "I'm confused. I'm all mixed up inside! I swear, I don't know what is right or what is wrong anymore! West is east and north is south! Sometimes I think this way, and then other times, I think THIS way!" He motioned left to right with his hands. "How do you keep all your thoughts together, Ludwig? How do you get them to all work together so you don't have to feel the way I do?"

Ludwig cleared his throat. "Tell me what is that you're feeling?"

"Everything! I can't just feel one thing!"

"Which one do you feel the most?"

"Um…confusion, I think? A part of me wants to forgive Ivan, but another part of me says to move on. But I know I don't want to move on…and I find myself still thinking about Ivan all the time." He took a heavy gulp of cider. "I shouldn't still love somebody who hurt me, should I?" His blue eyes pleaded with Ludwig's.

Ludwig finished his cider and ordered another. "You should have another sit down with Ivan and find out where you went wrong. The biggest clue we have is that Ivan felt like you and him were no longer sharing interests, or that you realized your interests are too different. However, you can't just come to that conclusion without evidence. Perhaps, while Ivan was seeing someone else, he also realized his true feelings for you and then felt guilty about having it ever happen in the first place."

"So…you think it's a moment of weakness too?"

"We're humans, Alfred. We all make mistakes. Ivan is a hard man to read. It takes years for a person to learn everything about their lover. And the way I see it, the more the years go on that you're together, the more things you learn to like together. Everyone will have their differences, that's what makes people unique and full of variety." He took another gulp. "But let me ask you this; do you want to get back with Ivan?"

Alfred's eyes were stinging with unshed tears. "I want to…but it's wrong to do. He cheated on me, Ludwig. He cheated on me and hid it from me!"

"I understand. But we know he regrets it. I think you should go on a date after your talk. But make it a date that is something neutral. Nothing you like, nothing he likes. Something you both hate, or have never experienced before. That way, you can have something new to talk about."

Alfred gave him a serious look. "So you want us to basically start over again? So you're saying that I should forgive what he did?"

Ludwig took another sip of his cider, choosing to focus on the wet circular ring on the bar napkin. "No, I'm not saying forgive him. However, you're clearly torturing yourself over this. From what I gather, it seems to me that you still want to be with him, but you know that you shouldn't because of what he did, and it's that part that is confusing you. Right?" Ludwig gazed at him, waiting for an answer. Alfred nodded, and then shrugged his shoulders. "Time has a way of healing things, Alfred. I truly believe Ivan resents what he did and it haunts him every day. In a way, Ivan is already being punished. But you can work this out together."

"Yeah, but we sort of don't have lots of things in common. How is that going to change anything?"

Ludwig pointed a finger at him. "There's something else you're not telling me. You look very guilty right now. You've thought about this already, haven't you? I think you know the reason, or at least assume, that you were the cause of him going astray. Am I right?"

"Whoa dude." Alfred felt his eyes grow wide in surprise. "You should get a side job reading minds or something." He turned to his drink. "Yeah, I do feel like I played a huge role in his cheating. Like, we always did things I wanted to do, but at the same time, Ivan barely complained! So how was I supposed to know he might have different opinions and options if he didn't voice them?"

"Did you ask him for his opinions?"

"Well…sometimes."

"Did you ever ask him why he always did what you wanted to do?"

"N-No. Not really." In all honesty, he couldn't remember any specific times, but he had to have, at least once!

Ludwig gave a little grunt over the rim of his glass, taking a sip before speaking. "That's a major issue in a relationship, Alfred. If a relationship doesn't have a balance between partners then it's almost certain that it will go astray. If you look at me and Feliciano, we take turns doing the things we like. He hates going to museums and anything educational, and I hate going to the boardwalk or lounging around on the patio without a shred of motivation. But, we do it anyway. I try to find fun and games enjoyable and he tries to be interested in museums and educational programming. That's how we balance things out. And we still do things we like together. This ski lodge was a decision we both made."

Alfred felt the corners of his lips turning into a smile. "You know, that makes a lot of sense! My own selfishness caused our relationship to go sour and in Ivan's desperate need to find someone who shared his interests pushed him to cheat."

"But you both recognize your mistakes." He took another sip. "Ivan is not an easy man to read. He's complicated. It always worried me a little, to be honest. He's a hard man to understand, and it seems like he has two personalities sometimes."

"He's always been like that."

Ludwig cleared his throat before saying the next thing, feeling completely embarrassed by it, but knew that it would help Alfred. "Don't ask me how I know this, but you should make a pros and cons list of your relationship with Ivan. Write down all the good, and all the bad. See which column has more. The rest is self explanatory."

Alfred felt himself grinning from ear to ear. Speaking to Ludwig was the right thing to do! "Why couldn't I have fallen in love with you?" He jumped off the bar stool to give Ludwig a large hug around the neck. "I know what to do!" Ludwig pulled away to curse through his teeth and they both noticed the large cider stain on the front of his argyle sweater. "Oops, sorry bro! But Feli's lucky to have you! You're a good guy!"

Ludwig waited for Alfred to be gone before ordering another drink. He needed it after this.

/

Alfred knew what it was he had to do. Not the pros and cons list, but setting up a date with Ivan. What Ludwig had said made sense. He just had to reconnect with Ivan on a new level yet not ignore what his ex-boyfriend did to him. Now that he had a clearer picture, he knew the best way to confront Ivan and better relay his feelings. They both had some changes to make and some more apologies to express. Now all he had to do was find Ivan, after he stopped at the café for a quick brownie treat.

/

Ivan sat up in his room, silently sulking in the whirlpool bath set on gentle. He dangled a glass of vodka in his hand over the edge of the tub, which he had brought from his home after seeing the high price of hotel bottled vodka (and an inferior brand to boot!). He thought that a relaxing hot bath would help to ease his mind of thoughts of Alfred- not of their fight but of making love. After the memory he had about sex under the Christmas tree he couldn't stop thinking about all the times they spent together, intimately.

Alfred, for as fun loving, loud, and adventurous he is was a major prude when it came to the subject of sex after they began dating. They had gone for four months with barely any intimate contact except for a brush of the hand or knee against a groin. Ivan had always been patient with Alfred during these times, respecting his lover's right to say 'he wasn't ready'. Alfred was a virgin while he wasn't. Before Alfred he had had one boyfriend and one fling, all that included sex. That's why he was so shocked when Alfred, with a hot blush, told him one night at a pizzeria that he was a virgin in all ways. It had excited him to know that he would be Alfred's first, and he would make it the best first time for his lover!

But he never expected the CHALLENGE that was Alfred F. Jones and his extreme embarrassment when it came to the bedroom. About four months into their relationship, Alfred had suggested they try to move 'forward'. It started off promising, but then, like many times after that, Alfred panicked and told him to stop. Ivan obeyed each time and continued with patience. And then finally there came that night in June when they became one for the first time. Ivan had almost forgotten that night with everything that has happened, but now he was remembering it in every detail.

_Ivan read the text from Alfred once more asking him to come over and bring champagne. He had the bottle safely tucked under his arm but wasn't a champagne fan. For some reason, that was the drink Alfred wanted tonight. In fact, he found the whole text message and alcoholic beverage to be strange turn of events from this morning's message of, 'I'll be busy all day. Catch you later'. Usually, that meant Alfred was doing something sport's related and they wouldn't be able to hang out. So why the sudden change?_

_When he got to Alfred's door, inside the huge glowing wreath of plastic candy canes and red balls was a note. It read, 'Knock first, then wait five minutes before coming in'. Ivan frowned, slapping a free hand to his face. Alfred could be so dumb sometimes, he thought. Anyone could read this note and come in. But, he did what the note said. A moment later he heard the door unlock. Hopefully everything was all right? His answer came with a little red note being slipped under the door. He read the note, 'Tonight is going to be special!- Alfred'._

_The five minutes were up. Ivan was so curious as to what Alfred had planned for this night. The man had gone through quite a bit to show that this would be a 'special' night._

_Once inside, he was greeted with the familiar smell of cheddar. Was this to be a romantic 'Alfred Style' dinner? If so, that wasn't something he would consider 'special'. He closed the door and locked it behind him. He heard his name from over in the living room. Placing the bottle on the table and removing his jacket to sling over a chair, Ivan approached the living room where the tree was shining bright, the Christmas decorations of numerous colors and tackiness. But when he saw what was waiting for him under the tree, his eyes grew wide and his breath caught in his throat._

_Alfred was sitting under the tree, naked, except for a big red bow around his neck, reindeer antlers on his head, and a Christmas blanket with Rudolph covering his lap. He was blushing brighter than Rudolph's red nose. The tree lights twinkled in a magical light show of multicolor all around him. On the stereo was Kenny G's instrumental holiday album currently playing, 'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas'. His body was clenched tightly together, further showing his embarrassment. Ivan, however, knew now what was going to be 'special' about this night. Finally, after waiting so long, they were going to take their relationship to an intimate level!_

' _I guess this is why you wanted champagne?' Ivan said with a smile, stepping down into the living room. 'To make this night a little bit more romantic?'_

' _I thought…I just think that…well…I think that's it's time for me to stop being so…you know…'_

' _Prudish?' Ivan finished for him, enjoying the adorableness that was Alfred Jones. His lover couldn't even look at him he was so bashful. 'Who put you up to this? Did someone help you with this idea?'_

' _Francis and Feliciano helped me.' He glanced up. 'They said you would like this, and so would I, because I love Christmas so much.'_

_Ivan grinned. 'I like it very, very much.'_

_Alfred blushed more. 'Francis said that…you would know what you want to do from here. So…you know…'_

_Ivan went over to him and got on his knees before the 'lovely' present. He had seen Alfred naked before, but never like this! First his hands went to the large bow, lightly tugging at the red strand. He saw Alfred's body twitch when he touched it. Slowly, he pulled the tie and watched as it came undone to pool around Alfred's waist._

' _This is the best gift of all. It's just what I asked for.' He smiled and kissed Alfred's cheek._

' _But it's not even Christmas yet.' Alfred replied. 'Is this really what you asked for?'_

' _For us to finally be together as one? Yes.' He looked around the room. 'You did a marvelous job setting everything up. It's a very romantic holiday evening.'_

_Alfred nodded and then said, 'We can go into the bedroom now.'_

' _No, I want to have you here, in front of the tree, in front of Santa, and on top of Rudolph.' Ivan teased, seeing as how the joke make Alfred grin through his blush._

' _Why do you want to soil Rudolph like that?'_

_Ivan didn't answer him with words but with a deep, passionate kiss. Alfred quickly responded, though shyly, to the kiss. It was Ivan who made it deeper, forcing Alfred's mouth open with his tongue to explore the cavern he knew so well. Alfred gasped into his kiss, this time dueling with his tongue. He had to pull away to rip the blanket from Alfred's lap and lay it on the floor beside the tree. He told Alfred to wait as he went to open the champagne bottle and pour two glasses. Champagne glasses are the only 'nice' glasses Alfred had anyway. When he brought the glasses back to the living room, Alfred was already sprawled out on the blanket, trying to hide his groin with his leg. The whole picture was mouth watering._

' _I've waited a long time for this, Alfred.'_

' _I know. I feel bad for making you wait so long.' He sat up and took the glass. 'Thanks.' They clinked glasses and sipped._

_They spoke for a few minutes with their champagne, sitting close together on the blanket. Ivan was unable to resist Alfred's naked glowing body any longer, so he took the glasses away, put them on the coffee table, and pushed his lover to the blanket. Alfred's eyes were wide and his body shook with nerviness, but Ivan gently stroked the arms and shoulders to soothe him. Then he stood up to remove his own clothes, enjoying the sight of Alfred's eyes roaming over his body once he was naked as well._

' _You're blushing so brightly, Alfred.' He smiled. 'If Santa saw you, I bet he'd ask you to guide his sled.'_

' _It's 'sleigh'. And are you calling me Rudolph? If so, then you're Frosty!' Alfred stuck his tongue out._

' _I'm from a wintery country. I'll take Frosty.'_

_He joined Alfred on the blanket once again and chose to lay beside him. He didn't want to rush this, for the few times he had in the past, Alfred shut down and said 'no'. So he stroked Alfred's face, hair and shoulders to ease the man's bashfulness. Alfred had a gorgeous body; athletic build with a light tan and toned muscles. His skin was always smooth to the touch, especially his cheeks. Knowing that he would soon be claiming this body as his own made his blood boil with desire._

_Sliding his hand down to Alfred's belly, he felt the tight stomach jump under his touch. Alfred was always ticklish right there. His fingers inched their way down to tangle in the smooth, curly patch of hair just above the growing erection. Alfred was just as excited as he was. A good sign. He wrapped his hand around the length, stroking it to hardness while his lover writhed beneath his touch. Alfred was used to this for they did it often enough, but tonight, his body was more responsive than usual. The atmosphere and the holiday spirit helped to push Alfred to make this decision._

_Alfred had gone out of his way to plan for this night when Ivan discovered the small Santa gift basket under the tree with some lube in it. His lover blushed when he flipped open the lid. Pouring the liquid onto his fingers, he lay alongside Alfred to bring their lips into a kiss before slipping his hand between the slightly spread thighs. Alfred tried to clench his legs shut but his hand was blocking him. He wouldn't let Alfred cock-block him this time. And to his delight, Alfred spread his legs a little wider._

_He started with one finger, feeling Alfred's muscles clenching around it and trying to push it out. Alfred made a soft moan that Ivan took a good sign to keep going. After a bit of thrusting with one finger, he added a second, and then a third. By the third Alfred had started to panic but he quickly calmed him by giving passionate kisses. Alfred's body was warming up beneath him, his hips arching and his belly tightening. Ivan removed the fingers and picked up the bottle of lube. He had Alfred help him by rubbing the lube on his erection. He loved whenever Alfred touched him. But Alfred looked as if he was growing frightened and might possibly back out._

_Before he could, Ivan took his position, hooking Alfred's legs around his arms and pressed against his entrance. He heard Alfred gasp, feeling him squirm beneath the weight of his body and the position. With soothing words, Ivan calmed his lover as he began his slow descent inside the hot, virgin body of his Alfred._

_He knew Alfred was in pain; it was his first time and Ivan was bigger than average when it came to manhood. But he kept Alfred calm, reminding him to relax his muscles and think of them on this special night under the Christmas tree. It was hard for Ivan to control himself, especially once he was fully seated inside and Alfred's muscles clenched hotly around him. He started a series of shallow, gentle thrusts to get Alfred used to the sensation. With each moan from his lover, Ivan pressed on further, harder and faster, until the blanket beneath them was wrinkled from movement._

_Ivan was in heaven. Finally being one with Alfred was the greatest thing he could ask for this holiday season. Alfred's body was writhing beneath his, arching up to feel more of the thrusts. He ravaged Alfred's mouth as he thrust in and out, feeling his balls slap against the other's skin as he sought to go even deeper. Alfred was crying out in pure delight, his face flushed and his lips painted with a little smile, a sign that he was no longer in pain. Ivan almost came when he felt Alfred wrap his arms around him, pulling their bodies tight together. Ivan felt that Alfred was ready to do more, and he had been waiting too long to let this opportunity slip from his grasp._

_He pulled out to flip Alfred over and enter him doggie style. The reindeer antlers had fallen off, and Ivan couldn't resist putting them back on Alfred's head before continuing in their love making. He would never look at Frosty and Rudolph the same way again after this._

_Alfred's cries of pleasure were increasing, but so were small little puffs of 'ow'. Ivan knew he was being too rough, but Alfred's muscles were slick and inviting, each time trying to suck him in further. He was moving too fast and pushing too hard, but the image of his lover like this had him losing control. He felt his balls tightening with the promise of orgasm, but he wanted Alfred to cum first. He reached his hand under the other and started to stroke Alfred's erection. With a few more strokes and gasping cries, Alfred came hard, his body shuddering under him and the essence pouring into Ivan's palm. Ivan felt the hot cum on his hand, pulled out for a moment, and used it to keep himself slick before thrusting back inside._

_Now that Alfred had cum he could finish and finally claim his lover as his own. He moved faster with his thrusts becoming shorter. But when Alfred's muscles clenched around him, and he heard his lover panting in afterglow, he stilled himself and came. Now they were finally one._

_Afterwards, he lay with Alfred in his arms, enjoying the sounds of the Christmas music and the twinkling lights._

' _Are you alright?' Ivan asked._

' _Yeah, I'm okay.'_

' _Is there anything I can do for my little reindeer?' He kissed Alfred's blushing red nose. 'What?' He asked, curious as to why Alfred was still blushing. 'What is it?' Ivan would never forgot those two words._

' _Again, please.'_

"That was a great night." He said to himself. "I miss having those nights." He downed the vodka. "I really screwed things up."

His cell phone started to ring. And ring. And ring. He didn't want to pick it up, but the ringing wouldn't stop. Who was calling him over, and over, and over again? Annoyed, he put on his robe and went to find his phone on the bedside table. He looked at the caller I.D. and saw it was Alfred's name.

"Alfred _?"_  He picked up. "Hello?"

'Ivan? Am I talking to Ivan?'

"Yes, Alfred. It's me."

'Oh, good! You didn't change your number!'

"No, I haven't. So, why are you calling?" Stupid question. Ivan hissed to himself.

'I've been doing some thinking and…I think we should talk things over more! You know, like, go on another date!'

Ivan's eyes widened. "A date?"

'Yeah! We can do something we both like or both hate! We can rekindle our relationship! Don't you think that's a good idea?'

"Relationship? You still want a relationship?" he was shocked.

'I think I do…but after what you told me…it's really hard to give you an answer on that. But, I did some thinking and talking! I think we just need to get together like old times! Push everything in the past out of the way and just be Ivan and Alfred! What do you think? You up for it?'

Ivan found himself smiling. "Yes, Alfred. I think that's a good idea. What would you like to do?"

'Um…you choose! Something snowy!'

"Snowy?" He thought a moment. "How about we go skating? Ice skating. There aren't many people on the rink at night and I can teach you."

'I already know how to skate! I taught myself! And, oh, yeah! They'll all be at that tree lighting thing! The rink will be open!'

'Tree lighting?' Ivan repeated to himself. 'Alfred loves Christmas trees!' "We'll go ice skating, and then we'll catch the tree lighting! If we meet up now we can do both."

'Awesome sauce! I'll meet you at the rink! And hey, whatever happens, happens. You know? Let's not expect results so soon.'

"I…completely agree with you, Alfred. I'll see you in a bit."

'Okay bro! Catch ya later!'

Ivan smiled as he ended the call. So Alfred wanted to start over? It was a fine idea! Although, Ivan knew that Alfred couldn't have come up with that idea all by himself. Whoever he talked to gave him the idea. His Alfred was sweet and adorable, but wasn't very sharp.

"Let's make this a great holiday, Alfred. If not as a couple, then as friends." He prepared himself for the skate rink.

/

Alfred waited anxiously for Ivan to appear. He sat on the bench, clinking his skates together, shivering in the cold. He pulled the ear-flap hat further down on his head, giving a shiver and a loud 'brrr'! Why did winter have to be so cold? Couldn't snow just be warm and pretty at the same time?

"Alfred?"

Alfred turned and smiled when he saw Ivan, dressed in winter gear and sporting the same pink scarf. "Hey dude! You ready to skate?"

"Since when did you learn to ice skate?" Ivan teased. "You wouldn't do it in Russia."

"I was scared too. But I'm not anymore! So come on!" He jumped onto the ice. "Come on, Ivan! Watch how a pro skates!" Alfred, feeling prideful, went on skating but his skills were still in training and with a yelp, he lost his balance and fell.

Ivan skated in a calm circle around him. "A pro, huh?"

Alfred snorted. "Oh please! So I'm not from Yeti-Land like you!" He got back onto his feet. "I can still skate!"

"Then, let's skate together."

"Together?" Alfred felt himself blushing.

Ivan, in a gentlemanly way, gave a polite bow. "Will you skate with me on this winter night, Alfred F. Jones?"

Alfred, a little embarrassed, glanced around at the atmosphere around him. A bright wintery moon, Christmas lights on every tree, and the distant sound of caroling coming from the main lobby. There really was only the two of them, alone on the rink, with nothing but the winter night air and the sound of singing. Alfred found himself blushing a bit.

"I'm still mad at you for what you did to me, you know." Alfred said with a huff.

Ivan stood up straight. "It was a mistake. The worst mistake I made. I hope, after some time, you can forgive me. But for now, as you said, let's just be Ivan and Alfred. Two friends skating on a winter's night."

Alfred rolled his eyes playfully. "I can live with that." He took Ivan's hand. "But if I fall, I'm taking you down with me."

"I'll cushion your fall then." Ivan replied.

Alone on the rink, Ivan and Alfred enjoyed a silent night of blissful ice skating. They spoke little but laughed more. Ivan was still a better skater, but Alfred had improved on his skills, never once falling. Even if he did, Ivan would be there to catch him.

Alfred's cell phone alarm started to beep, forcing him to stop and look at the event. "Gah! It's almost time for the tree lighting!"

"Then we'd best hurry!" Ivan said, but then started to chuckle.

Alfred frowned. "What is it?"

"Your nose! It's bright red!"

"Well, duh! It's cold out here! Oh, that's right! Yeti's don't feel the cold."

Ivan just shook his head with amusement. "Then I guess we'd better get going. But, I don't know the way."

Alfred raised a brow. "You can't find your way around the building to where the tree is?"

"No." Ivan shook his head and gave Alfred a mischievous grin. He wondered if Alfred would remember. "I can't find my way. So Rudolph, with your nose so bright, would you guide me to the tree tonight?"

Alfred stared at him, confused for a moment, but then remembered a specific event where they had called each other Rudolph and Frosty. It was the night of their first time together, when Alfred lost his virginity and had the best night of sex. His Rudolph blanket was completely destroyed and he could never put the blanket out again (even after it was washed) knowing what went on atop of it.

He gave a lopsided smile. "Frosty needs some help too, huh?"

"Rum pum pum pum. Look at Frosty go!"

Alfred bent over laughing, slapping at his knee. "You never could get the carols right! It's 'thumpety thump thump'! Not 'rum pum pum pum'! That's the Little Drummer Boy!"

Ivan pouted. "Aw, I tried really hard this time though!"

"I'm sure you did!" 'This is just like old times!' Alfred said to himself. 'I can't believe how much I missed this!'

He paused when his ears caught a familiar song on the nightly winter wind. It was coming from the tree lighting area behind the lodge. It was the song from the old 'Rudoloph' movie, the Radkin/Bass production one, which he watched, non-stop, every year at Christmas time. It was a little secret he kept to himself, feeling stupid and lame that he liked the movie so much. Why the hell were they playing 'that' song? Was someone out there to get him?

"Alfred, I hear music. Why does it sound so familiar?" Ivan scratched his head over his black ushanka hat. He started humming the tune. " 'There's always tomorrow, for dreams to come true' hum hum hum hummm…"

Alfred blushed. "That's from Rudolph. The one that you watched with me."

"The one with the really bad clay animation?"

Alfred glared at him. "It's not 'bad'! It's classic! You're such a Grinch!"

Ivan smiled. "You hate when I mess with Rudolph, don't you?"

"Stick it, Frosty." Alfred snuffed. "Rudolph is awesome!"

Ivan skated around him. "Rudolph is over-rated."

"He is not!" Alfred stomped his skate on the ice. "He was a poor little reindeer who was bullied but in the end he did an awesome job of saving Christmas! He's a hero!"

"He's a cartoon character." Ivan stopped suddenly when he noticed Alfred's sudden silence. Alfred was turning away from him. This was just like when they were dating, and when he tried to add logic to Alfred's holiday fun, like explaining how there was no way reindeer could fly or how a sleigh could soar through the sky. Alfred liked to pretend that there was Christmas magic. It was wrong to take that away from him. "Who is a world-wide icon of Christmas."

Alfred glanced at him, and then crossed his arms. "Frosty and Rudolph are friends, you know!"

"I know."

"No you don't."

That's right, he really didn't. "I try to understand, Alfred. I really do. It's hard for me to understand the holiday spirit. I'm too smart."

Alfred stuck his tongue out. "You're so snobbish! You should be dating Arthur! You'd both work out well for the other!"

"I can learn, Alfred. I try to see the Christmas magic like you do." He put his finger up as the song was still playing. "This is the song where the girl deer is singing to Rudolph, right?"

"Yeah."

"And there is some truth in her lyrics, yes?"

" 'There's always tomorrow, for dreams to come true. Believe in your dreams, come what may'." Alfred sang and then blushed, retreating into his scarf. "Shut up!"

"I didn't say anything. You like that cartoon."

"It's not a cartoon!"

"Well, whatever it is!" Ivan waved his hand in the air. "If we keep bickering like this, we're going to miss that tree lighting! Now, are you coming?"

Alfred stared at him for a moment, and then grinned. "I never miss a Christmas tree! Let's boogie!"

They arrived at the tree lighting, standing in the back of the large crowd as a towering evergreen, decorated with unlit lights, was preparing for its grand illumination. Alfred was so excited that he grabbed Ivan's gloved hand with his own, not knowing he was doing it. Ivan held his hand as well. Both wouldn't look at each other but felt the awkwardness.

"Everyone! Let's start the countdown!" Shouted an employee on a megaphone in front of the tree. The crowd started counting down from ten.

Alfred was the loudest of them all.

When the crowd hit 'one', the light burst brightly with all colors, twinkling and sparkling in the nighttime sky. Everyone cheered loudly, but Alfred was still the loudest.

Ivan smiled at Alfred, remembering now how much joy the holidays brought to his ex-boyfriend. Right now, Alfred's face was alight with Christmas joy, just like a child on Christmas morning. In his cornflower blue eyes, Ivan could see all the magic swirling in those pools of hope. It was a sight he had forgotten at one point, but now, seeing it again, reminded him of just how much he adored Alfred's ability to be easily entertained and happy. Alfred was beaming with Christmas joy. He was wearing that perfect smile, a smile that only Alfred F. Jones could produce. Ivan remembered that smile very well.

"Ivan! Doesn't the tree look awesome?" Alfred yelled at him over the cheering crowd.

Ivan nodded. "It does! It's really beautiful!" He couldn't take his eyes off of Alfred's joyful face. 'How could I have made this face cry?' He asked himself.

The crowd began to join hands and shoulders, all singing in a choir of 'Oh, Christmas Tree'. Alfred was quick to join in, dragging Ivan with him. Ivan didn't know the words so he just hummed along with the tune.

They still had a long road of recovery ahead of them. But Ivan was certain that, before Christmas Eve, he will have won Alfred's heart all over again.

**End Chapter 4 TBC**

 


	5. Chapter 5

*****Hey everyone! Glad to hear some of you are getting into the holiday spirit! ^^ There is only one more chapter left after this one. This chapter is a bit short but I'll make up for it in the last one! Special thanks to my beta for all her hard work!**

*****Warnings: Language, humor, ugly Christmas sweater**

*****Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Alfred stirred awake as he felt a familiar warmth pressed up against him. A strong hand lay about his waist, spooning him closer to the other body behind him. He smiled contently at the feel and smell of Ivan, something he could never forget. He heard Ivan make a small, sleepy noise as he pushed himself closer. Alfred started to giggle when he felt that big nose in his hair, delicately sniffing him. 'Woof', Ivan whispered into his hair.

"Morning." Alfred replied, rolling over to gaze at the sleepy face of his lover. He watched one purple eye peek open, and the close again. "Aww, come on, Ivan! Wake up!" He grinned, holding Ivan's nose close.

Ivan snorted, shaking Alfred's hand away from his nose. "I'm up." He watched Alfred sit up and stretch, wishing the other wasn't wearing a white shirt so he could admire the strong back. "You should be naked all the time."

"Say what?" Alfred turned to him and grinned. "Ha ha! Maybe I want you naked all the time!"

"Okay." Ivan lifted his hips to begin removing his pants when Alfred stopped him.

"Not yet."

"Why not?" Ivan sat up with him. "I wasn't going to do anything."

Alfred flushed softly, his eyebrows frowning. "Yeah…you haven't quite…you know…redeemed yourself in that way yet."

"I understand." Ivan said with a nod. "I respect your wishes, Alfred."

"Hey, can I ask just one more question about that other man?"

Ivan sighed gently. "Of course. What is it?"

"Did you…wear a…you know. That THING that-"

Ivan smiled. "You can't bring yourself to say 'condom', Alfred?" He chuckled. "Yes, I always wore one with him. So there was no ass-to-dick skin contact- OOF!" Alfred had hit him in the face with a pillow.

"Dude! TMI!"

"I was only trying to lighten the mood a bit." He said, holding the pillow to his chest. "But we're not focusing on the past, remember? We're focusing on the here and now."

Alfred got out of bed to stretch his back and neck. "Right. I feel like we're in couples therapy or something. By the way, what do you want to do today?"

"Hmm…we should eat breakfast first, and then perhaps we could go shopping here? The shop here is pretty big, and I would like to get you a Christmas present."

"That means I'll have to get you one too." Alfred remembered the thin little black binder next to the phone that listed many other places outside of the lodge for entertainment. "Hey, let's take a look in here for something! Nothing says we have to stay at the lodge!" He opened up to the first page of shops. "There's a shopping village about half an hour from here! I bet they're all decorated for Christmas!" He flipped to the next page. "Ooo! There's an awesome club we can go to tonight! We should tell the guys about it too."

"What's it called?" Ivan asked, coming up behind Alfred to hug him and rests his chin on the shoulder.

"Flash Dance. But, they have a holiday special every Thursday night called 'Jingle Bell Rockin' Out'! That's tonight! We should totes go!"

Ivan frowned. "Don't say 'totes'. You know I hate that."

"Oops. Sorry. It's been awhile, you know?" He felt Ivan nod against him. "Okay, so we'll spend the day together at the little Christmas shopping village, and then we'll meet the guys at the club! I'll send out a mass text invite!"

"Sounds like great fun." Ivan chuckled. "Remember that night at the '80's dance? When we truly fell in love?"

Alfred stiffened. "Yeah…I remember. But right now, Ivan, don't use the word 'love'." He pulled away from him but met those violet eyes with all seriousness. "You have to earn back that love we once shared."

Ivan felt his chest tightening and literally felt his heart shatter after hearing those words from Alfred's lips. He knew that Alfred was right. He could not blame the other for feeling the way he did, for he truly, in plain terms, fucked things up between them. Betraying Alfred was the worst mistake he had ever made. Now that he was back together with Alfred, hearing such cold words of truth and seeing such hurtful expressions is more painful than anything he could think of. He never thought another human being could have such intense power of him and his heart.

"So I still have a chance at winning your heart again?" Ivan asked. "I know no amount of 'I'm sorry' will ease your hurt."

"It's going to take awhile, Ivan. I don't want our relationship to fully end over this because I think, no, I KNOW we can work it out. It's just…" he shied away. "You really hurt me, Ivan. If only…if only you spoke to me first about your feelings instead of hiding them and sleeping with someone else! Damn it, Ivan!" He clenched his fists at his sides. "I want to hate you. I really do. I feel like I should hate you…but…I'm too damn soft for my own good!"

Ivan took both of Alfred's hands, squeezing them tight. "You're too good of a person for me, Alfred. I'm the bad one. I'm the one that was weak and cowardly. But not any more. I will make all of this up to you. You will fall in love with me again, and after a little time has past, this will all be behind us, and we can be happy again. I want to be happy with you, Alfred. No one else."

Ivan's tender words brought a little smile to his lips. "That's a good start." He cleared his throat and flashed his huge, trademark grin. "Well, let's get ready to do some Old Man shopping!" 'Focus on the good. Focus on the good.' He repeated to himself.

"Yes. Let's get ourselves gussied up!"

"Never say 'gussy'." Alfred scolded.

/

Ivan was only slightly embarrassed to be out with Alfred right now, especially in that ugly Christmas sweater he was wearing! Alfred proudly wore a red knitted sweater with a white collar and cuffs. Around the collar were colored Christmas lights. Beneath those, blue snowflakes. In the center, a Christmas tree with colored dots all over it and glitter presents beneath it. On the left sleeve was Santa, his sleigh, and eight reindeer. On the right sleeve, at the shoulder, was the smiling face of a generic Rudolph with a red pom-pom nose. It was the most colorful sweater Ivan had ever seen. And what was worse, Alfred actually wore a white turtle-neck underneath! He was the true spirit of Christmas, if the spirit came from a third grader's picture sitting on Santa's lap in 1980.

Yet the color didn't stop there. Atop his head, Alfred wore a knitted red cap with white pixel snowflakes and another large white pom-pom at the center top. Beneath said hat was a pair of Rudolph earmuffs. His gloves, although leather, were red. This was the man he was in love with and who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The radio sports star in the Christmas sweater.

Ivan, on the other hand, was dressed very casually. Holiday casual. Red and green argyle vest over a white button down shirt and long brown coat covering. His scarf was elegantly tucked inside the collar of the coat, lightly peeking out over the top. He did away with his 'Commie Hat', as Alfred liked to call it, and wore a plain black ski cap instead with flaps to cover the ears. Everyone was looking at them, but at Alfred in particular. And who could blame them? The man was a walking Christmas advertisement.

The shopping village was alive with the normal hustle and bustle of holiday shopping. Parents with screaming or laughing children being pulled this way and that, old ladies walking their prissy little dogs overly dressed in fur coats and hats, and the occasional young couple strolling hand in hand. The cobblestone streets were decorated with lighted greenery and colorful wreaths on each lamp post. Every store had various Christmas music playing or a Salvation Army Santa was standing around ringing their bells.

"Wow, Ivan! This place is great! It's like a little mini Christmas town!"

"I can see that."

"Hey! Do you smell that?" Alfred sniffed the air. "It smells like…mmmm…sweets! Come on!" There was a bakery called 'The Gingerbread House' that, like its name, was decorated to look like a gingerbread house. In the large shop window sat four shelves covered in various cakes and pies, all Christmas themed except for one Hanukkah cake and one Kwanzaa pie. "Wow…" he pressed his face and hands to the glass. "Soooo yummy!"

Ivan looked at all the cakes. "Maybe we can come back and buy one later. We have no where to store it back at the lodge."

"Ah, but the sign says they give samples and it's an eat-in! Let's have some cake!"

'I'll have a cavity after this.' Ivan sighed, allowing himself to be pulled in.

As they sat the small 'gingerbread' table, with a gingerbread boy and girl salt and pepper shaker smiling at him, Ivan thought about the first time he had made Christmas cookies. It was with Alfred, of course, and it was when they were first dating. The memory came back to him because Alfred had so many colorful cookies on his plate, munching loudly on each one.

' _Which cookie cutter is your favorite, Ivan?' Alfred asked._

_Ivan looked at all seven; an angel, a star, a tree, a snowman, a holly leaf, a gingerbread man, and a reindeer. "Um…I guess I like the reindeer?'_

' _Why the reindeer?'_

' _Because I used to see them in Russia sometimes.'_

' _Oh, I thought you liked it because they pull Santa's sleigh!'_

_Ivan wanted to educate Alfred on the mythology of reindeer in Christmas folklore but decided against it, choosing to let his boyfriend enjoy the magic of the holidays. 'I just like reindeer.'_

_He was given the green sugar cookie dough and Alfred had the red. Ivan's cookies were coming out perfectly shaped and in one piece. Alfred's kept breaking, or the dough would stick to the counter. Ivan showed him how to use powdered sugar to keep the dough from sticking while he worked with it. Alfred was thrilled with the new tactic and he knocked out a batch of perfect cookies._

' _Mine are awesome! Better than yours!'_

' _Yes, they really are.' Ivan noticed that Alfred had made his cookies too thin and there was a good change they would break. Still, they baked tray after tray, three dozen in all, of Christmas shape cookies. 'I've never met anyone with so much Christmas spirit as you, Alfred.'_

' _Just call me Santa's little helper!' He said proudly as he picked up one of the fresh cookies, tossing it back and forth in his hands because it was hot. 'Cookie, cookie, cookie!' He took a bite of the snowman's head, it crunched, and he frowned. 'Blech! Too crunchy! It tastes good…but why is it crunchy?'_

' _You let it bake too long and you cut them all too thin. Look at my cookies.' He showed him the quarter inch think reindeer cookie baked to a light golden brown around the edges. 'See how mine is slightly thicker? Now, as I break it in half, watch how slowly it breaks.' He did so, watching the small stream of heat float up from the center. 'See how I did that?'_

_Alfred looked annoyed. He snatched the cookie from Ivan's hand and munched loudly on it. 'It's okay. I wouldn't say great.'_

_Ivan rolled his eyes. 'You know they're good because you're already reaching for another.' He saw Alfred's hand pause above the cookie. 'Don't we decorate them now?'_

' _Yeah! I got all the stuff!' He dumped out a bag of various small containers of Christmas color cookie toppings._

_Ivan just sighed._

"Ivan! Wake up, dude!"

"Hm?"

"You spaced out on me, bro! You need a sugar lift?" He held out a snowman cookie.

Ivan looked at the cookie, which appeared so sweet that his teeth were already aching at the sight of it. "No thank you, Alfred. You can have it." He smiled.

"Okay! Your loss!"

After the great cookie eating, they strolled through the town, stopping at a bath and body shop of homemade goods. The signs read 'everything organic' and 'all-natural ingredients'. Ivan was particularly interested in the massage oils while Alfred was trying to choose a bar of soap with a small toy in the center. Alfred didn't know which toy he wanted, the duck, the ball, the dinosaur, there were just so many options! The more you wash with the soap, the closer you are to getting the bath toy!

"Alfred, do you think I should buy Christmas gifts for the others?"

"Sure! I'm just getting them all wine."

Ivan tsked. "That's boring. Where's your Christmas spirit, Alfred? Let's get our friends nice gifts."

"From the both of us?" Alfred smiled.

"I think that's a splendid idea! This bath collection basket will be a wonderful gift for Sadiq and Heracles!"

"Awesome! And let's throw in this for me!" He held up the bar of soap with a small rubber duckie in the center. "I want this."

Ivan smiled, shaking his head. "Whatever you wish, Alfred."

Now that they had a mission, the two went in to every shop buying something for their friends. For Ludwig, they bought him a set of four pewter beer mugs. For Feliciano, an assortment of pasta and homemade sauces gift basket. For Arthur, a collection of fine teas along with a mug that came with a tea leaf strainer. For Francis, a nice bottle of wine with a fancy cork top. For Antonio, a hand crafted wooden flute and a song book. For Lovino, an assortment of Italian cookies, all homemade, with a few tins of real hot chocolate powder. And for Gilbert, a fifty dollar Visa gift card; the man was very hard to buy for, so it was easier to just give him money and let him go on a spending spree.

Next, they went to a specialty paper shop and paid to have all their gifts perfectly wrapped and laced up with bows or ribbon. They each signed the gaudy gift tags with their names. Once the gifts were finished, they had to make an extra trip to the car to drop off all of the boxes before returning to the village. This time, they were able to shop for themselves.

After shopping and a light dinner, they headed back to the car, returned to the lodge, dropped off the gifts, and changed into 'hip' clubbing attire. The sun was setting behind the mountains as they got back into the car, this time with Ivan driving. Ivan mentioned how beautiful the sunset looked and Alfred agreed, which they both took a silent moment to look at it. Once on their way, Ivan took a glance over at Alfred.

"I must say, I like this outfit of yours better than that Christmas sweater!"

Alfred was wearing a tight red shirt and black jeans. "It's really not my best clubbing attire, but I'm going to have fun, not pick somebody up." He laughed. "We'll leave our coats in the car."

Ivan turned down the radio with 'Frosty the Snowman' playing. "I actually haven't danced in a long while. I hope I haven't forgotten how."

"Nah! It's just like riding a bike! You'll catch on to it!" Alfred had to quickly look out the window because he felt his face start to burn red. He was thinking about the times they went clubbing and the…sometimes provocative dancing they would do together, especially after he had a few drinks to loosen up. "I don't think I'll be drinking tonight either. How about you?"

"Well, when Gilbert and Arthur and I get together it's hard for all of us not to drink. They're good drinking buddies." He smiled and saw Alfred's blushing reflection in the mirror. Alfred was so easy to read. "We won't be dancing like that, Alfred. I know that's what you're thinking."

Alfred looked at him with wide eyes. "Dude…that's weird. How'd you know that?"

"I know you and how your brain works."

"That's a little creepy."

Ivan chuckled. "It's called knowing someone very well."

"Hm. I don't always know what you're thinking. It's like you got a firewall all around you. Hard to read."

Ivan nodded. "I've always been that way. But, do you remember what you said to me when we first had this conversation a few years ago?" Alfred shook his head. "You said that you liked the mystery of me. You liked not knowing everything about me and you saw it as a funny little game to get to know me better."

"Really? Hm, I think I remember something about it."

"Well, not to worry. We're going to have fun tonight with the others. We focus only on fun, deal?"

"DEAL!" Alfred shouted excitedly.

/

Everyone chose to meet up outside the club first and walk in together. The dance floor was covered with people rocking out to some remix version of '12 Days of Christmas'. Christmas lights of red and green were strung all along the ceiling with pillars decorated in greenery with colored lights and red bows. The waiters wore elf hats as they wove through the crowds and tables. At the bar, the lighted wall behind the bottles were flashing from red to green, with the bartenders sporting reindeer antlers. The DJ was dressed as a hip Santa up on the stage, which was covered with fake snow and his equipment decorated with sparkling garland. It was a Yuletide mess of color.

"I'm hitting the bar first." Ludwig said to the others over the music.

"I'll join you." Ivan replied, and Francis, as well as Lovino and Gilbert, chose to join him at the bar while the others went to dance.

Alfred's favorite friend to dance with was Feli since the Italian man was a bundle of energy, the same as him, when it came to fun. Sadiq and Herc had left the group the moment the music hit their ears and were laying out their suave moves on the dance floor. Antonio and Arthur chose to stay with Alfred and Feliciano, creating a friendly dance circle.

Alfred had missed having this type of fun. He'd stopped doing most of it after he and Ivan broke up. He had been just too depressed and lacked the energy to try and even have fun like this. So far, this trip was turning out to be the best choice he could have made this holiday season. He was with good friends during his favorite holiday and now he was trying to rekindle his relationship with Ivan, something he thought could never happen. Just a short while ago, his life had been a stream of miserable depression and loneliness. Now he felt like his old self again, and the feeling was amazing!

At the bar, Ivan was sipping his vodka drink when Francis leaned in close to speak to him over the booming music. "So how's it going with Alfred?"

"Pretty good." Ivan leaned in so he could hear as well. "He hasn't quite forgiven me, but we're working on it."

"What about sex? Have you tried anything yet? I would refrain from it."

Ivan nodded. "I've spoken to him about it. He said I have a long way to go before I can regain his trust in the bedroom."

Francis sipped his wine. "So he wants you to woo him again?"

"I believe so."

"This DJ takes requests. Why don't you ask him to play your song?"

Ivan raised his brows. "But this is a Christmas party."

"He just played a non-Christmas song. Go ask him to play your song! I'm telling you, it will really help to get Alfred's attention. You need to pay attention to the fine detail. You have won him over before, so you can do it again."

"But our song has to do with love." Ivan replied flatly, looking down into his glass. "Alfred said I have a long way to go before, well, before he basically says, 'I love you' again."

Lovino overheard them and butted in. "What you need to do, Ivan, is completely surrender to him. Keep letting him know it is all your fault. Let him rub it in your face. Let him feel empowered knowing that he is the better person in this relationship. He'll forgive you faster if you fully take the blame for everything."

"I've done that already." Ivan responded. "He knows."

Lovino shook his head. "He blames himself for some things as well. You have to keep assuring him that nothing he did was his fault, even if it was."

Francis nodded. "I agree with Lovi. Alfred knows you are sincere with your apology. We all see it. Building back Alfred's trust will be easy so long as you keep letting him know how much you care for him, how sorry you are, and how much you swear you will never stray again. Believe it or not, Alfred probably felt very inadequate when you told him that you cheated. Oh, he was mad at you, but a part of him still felt insecure and blamed some of it on himself. That's what you need to fix. Alfred may be strong willed, out-spoken, and full of playful energy. But when it comes to his heart, he is very much the emotional type. He's loyal, trustworthy, faithful, friendly-"

"-can catch a Frizbee in his mouth-" Lovino added in. Ivan chuckled.

"I was really a fool to have done what I did to him. I was putting interests before emotions. I love Alfred's personality and his loving nature. I adore that about him. I just went astray for awhile, and I regret it, but it was also a learning experience for me. I learned how much I still care for Alfred and how much I want to be with him despite our differences."

Francis sighed adoringly. "la'more."

"So do what Francis said." Lovino gave Ivan's arm a punch. "Go request a song! Your song!"

Ivan slammed his glass down. "I will!"

Without saying 'thank you', Ivan pushed his way through the dancing crowd to approach the DJ's dais. He was taller than most, so he was able to quickly grab the DJ's attention. He shouted for him to play 'Never Knew Love Like This Before' with a shout-out to Alfred Jones. The DJ, lowering his plastic reindeer sunglasses, gave Ivan a wink and a thumbs up. When the current song was finished, Ivan watched nervously as the DJ prepared to speak into the microphone.

'Alfred, I hope this shows you how much I'm trying.'

Alfred and Feliciano continued to dance through each Christmas remix song that blasted through the club. But when the music stopped they both looked at each other in disappointment. All bodies on the dance floor turned to the DJ's stand, curious as to know why the music had stopped and only flashing lights remained.

"We're gonna change things up a bit, my reindeer friends! This is our first request of the night, going out to Alfred Jones!"

Alfred was speechless, and utterly embarrassed even though no one other than his friends knew who he was. Who was giving him a shout out? There was only one person here who would do that, and when Alfred heard THAT SONG start to play (with a hint of bass) he knew he was right.

"Alfred! This is your song!" Feliciano squealed excitedly. "Ivan made them play your song!"

"Y-Yeah…he did." Everyone around him started dancing and all he could do was look for Ivan. He started to mouth the words as he remembered that night at the '80's dance. Ivan really was making them relive the past.

And then he saw him approaching. Alfred stared at him, his eyes slightly lowered, not knowing what to say or do. Ivan must have seen his hesitation for the larger man pulled their bodies together, making the decision for him. Their bodies started to sway to the music with Ivan doing most of the leading. Alfred was unsure of what to do. This type of dancing, almost near bumping and grinding, was a little too close to sex. He wasn't ready for that yet. But the hardest part was trying to ignore the familiar feeling of Ivan's lower body rubbing against his. Alfred wanted to punch himself for getting hot on just the feeling! Sex shouldn't have this much power over a person, and Alfred refused to believe that he was one of those 'horny' guys. Yet he only got horny when he was around Ivan. Why?

'Because I like him. Big nose jerk!' The song lyrics caught his attention. 'Oh, screw it!'

Ivan wasn't prepared for Alfred to suddenly dip himself backward and then shoot back up to meet their gazes. Alfred's intense gaze was not one of heated anger but of lust. Ivan felt his heart beat rapidly, excited by the quick change in his lover. However, he had to gain back Alfred's trust and respect, so instead of more grinding, he brought the other into a casual dance, as if two friends were simply dancing together.

Alfred lost his lustful eagerness when Ivan changed their dancing. It put a happy smile on his face to be dancing with Ivan like this. And the lyrics to the song couldn't have fit their relationship any better. Yes, he 'never knew love like this before', both when they were first dating and then when they broke up. It was an adventure of love that had some speed bumps and big pot holes in the road but they came out of it safely. There was still a bit of a ways to go yet, but Alfred only looked at it now as another adventure he was excited to begin.

Ivan was pleased, and relieved, at how well Alfred took to his gesture of love and forgiveness. He couldn't help but laugh happily as well, since Alfred could always, always put a smile on his face. Something he had remembered just now. He began to lip-sync the words as he pulled Alfred close to him, making the other laugh nervously and even blush at the extra little bit of romance he had to sneak into this. Alfred always became bashful whenever he decided to be very 'debonair' and regal in their relationship, playing the role of an old-time romantic.

But the song had ended too soon, quickly changing back to another hip-hop style Christmas song remake.

"Care to keep dancing?" Ivan shouted over the music.

"YEAH!" Alfred shouted back. "WE'RE JAMMIN' NOW!"

They were the last in the group to leave the club around 2 a.m., all the others having gone back to the lodge a few hours ago. This time, they went to Ivan's room at the lodge instead and, tired from such a long day of fun and emotions, they passed out and didn't wake up until noon.

"Oh man, we haven't partied like that since…since we were in college." Alfred said once he was up fully and dressed.

Ivan was sitting on the bed tying his boots. "It's true. We're getting to be a couple of old men." He teased.

"Pfft! I'll never get old!"

"So you think you'll be young forever, then?" Ivan humored him.

"Damn straight!" Alfred checked himself in the body mirror.

"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve." Ivan pointed out. "Will we be having our annual holiday get together in one of the others' rooms?"

"Yeah, actually. We're holding it in Francis and Arthur's room. I hear they brought, or rather, Francis brought in a fake Christmas tree. Feliciano, Ludwig, and Lovino are getting the food arrangements. Everyone else is just bringing themselves." He laughed.

"That's great news! I'm looking forward to spending the holiday together again, with you, and with everyone!"

Alfred gave him a proud thumbs up. "This will be a great Christmas, Ivan! I just know it! We still got some kinks to work out, but we'll get there. Being alone for the holiday's suck. Oh! Need to get my other jacket from my room. I'll be right back!"

He hurried to his room but was surprised to see a swipe key and a note on gaudy paper bordered with vineyard grapes. There was only one person who had such stationary, and that was Feliciano Vargas. He wondered how Feli got into his room but then recalled that Ludwig had all their spare keys. He picked up the key card and read the note:

_Dear Alfred,_

_Congratulations on the progress you made with Ivan! I could tell by your face just how happy and excited you were! I'm so happy for you! Tonight, Ludwig and I will be 'out'. All night. ALL night. Our room will be lonely so…you know where I'm going with this!_

_Your Friend,_

_Feliciano._

Alfred turned bright red. "That mushy dork! Does he really think I'll spend the night with Ivan in HIS room? With the heart shaped bed and the…the…" he blushed. "The other fancy stuff…the mirror over the bed…GAH! When did I become a chick!?"

Whimpering and trying to think about manly things like football and wrestling, he noticed the little pink heart that was on the protective paper case of the key card. He and Ivan were supposed to start things over. Maybe a night in a super duper romantic room with drinks and good food they could come to some sort of agreement about their relationship. Atmosphere really did help.

"Well…I'll think about it." He snuffed and grabbed his coat. "Who needs heart shaped beds and champagne glass shaped bath tubs?"

Just before he left, he paused in the doorway, turned around, and put the key card in his pocket.

"Stupid Christmas…being all Christmasy and lovey-dovey and making my emotions go left, right, up, down without a safety net or a GPS!"

Walking down the hall and into the lobby, he couldn't resist giving a plastic statue of a smiling Santa the finger.

End Chapter 5 TBC

 


	6. Chapter 6

*****Hello everyone! This is the last chapter of Blue Christmas! It's full of Christmas cheer and fluff, and some yummy yaoi! So thanks to all of you who have followed this fic and I hope it has kept you in the Christmas/holiday spirit! ^^ Special thanks to my beta for her hard work.**

*****Warning: Hardcore yaoi, language, fluff, humor, romance**

*****Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

'Meet me at Feli's room, Suite 509.' Ivan kept rereading the text message from Alfred, thinking back to the time when they had first made love. It had started the same way as this, with a note. He had seen the romantic atmosphere of these 'love suites' his friends were all in, knowing they were fit for sex. It was a bit unnerving to know that they are borrowing their friends' room, where they, no doubt, have been doing much 'jingle belling' over the course of their visit here. But the sheets were changed every day and the tubs scrubbed clean, so…

"509." Ivan spotted the number on the door, cupped his hand over his mouth to check his breath, and then knocked. He wasn't sure what to wear so he put on something simple, jeans and a black t-shirt. Hopefully, he wouldn't be wearing them for long.

"Come on in!" There was a click and the door opened. "Hey Ivan!" Grinned Alfred.

"I got your text." Ivan said, stepping inside to get the sudden, almost over powering smell of chocolate. "Did you bathe in chocolate, or something? Wonka's Chocolate Factory smells lighter than this!" He teased.

Alfred laughed. "That's just the candle Feli left burning. It's actually making me hungry!" He went to the candle. "These damn candles smell so good sometimes that I just want to eat the wax with a spoon!"

"Well, let's not do that." Ivan teased again and then wandered away to look around. "Red walls, romantic paintings, shag carpeting…" he chuckled. "I'm guessing this lodge has been around for awhile? Considering all the mirrors?"

Alfred posed in front of one wall mirror. "There's more mirrors in this room than the gym! I suppose it's to check your form during sex!"

Ivan turned to him with a serious look. "Letting your partner see their expression during sex, as well as your own, is one of the best ways to achieve ultimate pleasure. You were always too shy to do such things." He smiled softly.

Alfred blushed, turning away sharply to find that the fake flowers were suddenly very interesting. "It's just…kind of silly, you know? Two sweaty bodies slapping and bouncing around…there's nothing really erotic about it. It's all about the feeling of pleasure and the connection with your partner."

"Yes, but seeing how much your partner is enjoying it is what helps to enhance the pleasure." Making a bold move, he wrapped his arms around Alfred from behind, pleased when the other didn't break away. "Seeing your face during sex always enhanced my pleasure. That's why I frown when you wanted to do doggie-style. I can't see your face then, but I do it for you."

"We switch up positions." Alfred answered softly. "I get more pleasure out of doggie-style. I always have." He blushed with what he said next. "If we…were to do doggie-style in front of the mirror…you could see me." Ivan's embrace tightened as he could feel the other's growing erection against his lower back. "Ivan…" He breathed his name in uncertainty.

"Don't tease me, Alfred. If you don't wish to do anything of that nature, then don't tease or tempt me. Now, tell me honestly, why did you invite me here to this room?"

Alfred glanced at him in the mirror, and then glanced away. "It was Feli's idea."

"You accepted."

"Yeah…I did."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Yes you do. Tell me." Alfred smell was intoxicating. "Be honest with me."

"Like how you were so honest with me?" Alfred countered.

Ivan tensed at that. "I always thought of you whenever I was with that other man. I made a lot of mistakes, Alfred. For someone so smart, as you would say, I was very stupid. You are the one I want. You are my Alfred. I fell in love with you first."

Alfred clenched his eyes shut, feeling the tears threatening to spill at Ivan's words. "How can I trust you not to do it again?" He asked in a whisper. "How?"

"My actions will speak the truth. I don't wish to be with anybody but you. I know we have a long road ahead of us, but let's worry about that after the holiday. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve…a time to be happy, and spending time with those we love and cherish. You were always so happy on Christmas, and I want you that way again this year. This lodge, this room, these decorations, all are just a special fairytale that we are living."

"There is the start of the new year soon too." Alfred pointed out and started humming 'Auld Lang Syne' softly, unsure of what else to say.

" 'And never brought to mind.' Right?" Ivan added to the tune. "Forget the past, and then start the new year fresh."

Alfred nodded. "You're right. I want this to be a great Christmas."

"I'll make sure that it is. And I will spend the new year making it all up to you."

They were both silent for a few moments while looking at one another in the mirror. Alfred was the first to pull away.

"The bath water is getting cold." He pointed to the glass (or sheer plastic) shaped tub. "We shouldn't waste it."

Ivan smiled. " I think it's a martini glass, not a champagne shape." He had to point out. "I'll pour us some drinks."

Alfred returned the smile. "I'll start the music."

"Kenny G Christmas again?"

"What else?"

Ivan went to the small wet bar where a silver tray had been left with two champagne glasses and a bottle of Dom Perignon. Ivan made a mental note to thank Ludwig and Feliciano for giving them such an expensive champagne. Beside the bottle was a little bowl of sliced strawberries.

'Strawberries and champagne, hm? Sure, why not?' He opened the bottle with a loud 'pop', eeped when it overflew, and quickly poured two glasses. In splashed two slices of strawberries in each glass, fizzling with little bubbles. From the surround sound speakers he could hear the beginning of the soft, soothing music and the lights suddenly dimmed. A smile appeared on his lips.

"Alfred?" He called.

"I'm in the tub already." He waved from the large tub. "Hurry in! The water's still warm!"

Ivan couldn't help but laugh when he saw Alfred's naked rump through the plastic martini tub as he looked up. He had almost forgotten how cute that pert little athletic ass was.

Putting the glasses down, he quickly stripped himself, not bothering to fold the clothes but let them lay there on the floor. Now naked, he took the glasses and climbed the steps to the tub with the safety sticker bars slightly scratching the bottom of his feet. As the got to the top he could smell the oils in the water as well as the red and pink rose petals floating around Alfred. Ivan felt his heart skip a beat when Alfred blushed at his naked body.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before." Ivan reminded him and held out the glass.

"Yeah…but I haven't seen it in awhile so…" he took the champagne glass. "Ooo, strawberries! Fancy."

"Indeed." Ivan placed his glass on the small ledge and stepped down into the water, which felt more like oil. They would have to hold on and get out carefully if they didn't want to slip, fall, and break their necks. "Did Feliciano set ALL this up?"

Alfred nodded. "He's a nutcase when it comes to romance. He's Italian so…" he held his glass out to Ivan. "Cheers?"

Ivan took his own and clinked it with Alfred's. "Cheers. To us, and new beginnings."

"To us."

They drank. And drank some more.

The rich champagne quickly went to Alfred's head, making him feel the delights of a good buzz. Suddenly, Ivan's short comings didn't matter any more. In fact, Alfred was looking at Ivan in a new light now. Maybe it was not just the champagne but a mix of holiday spirit and romantic atmosphere, just as he had previously thought. Now it was all coming true.

"I think we should get out now." Ivan offered when he saw that almost far-off look in Alfred's eyes. "The heart shaped bed awaits."

Ivan helped his lover out of the tub, dried them both off, and practically carried him the rest of the way down the steps. They made it to the floor without slipping. Setting Alfred back onto his feet, he found that his lover chose to hug him tightly. Alfred is happy again, Ivan thought, and he felt his heart soar.

The heart shaped red bed with mirrors and wall curtains was a little bit excessive, Ivan thought, but such details were lost when Alfred laid back on it. His pale brows lifted at the sultry expression and pose of Alfred on the bed, like a little vixen, begging to be ravished. Did Alfred truly want this? Ivan had to be sure; he had to hear it from Alfred's lips. "Are you certain about this? Once I have you again, I'm not letting you go."

"I don't joke about these things, Ivan." Alfred responded. "There's a basket of goodies on the night stand. Lots of things we'll like." He smirked. "Oh, and by the way, if you tell anyone, ANYONE, about how mushy-gushy I am right now for the Christmas season I'll never speak to you again!"

Ivan laughed. "Yes sir! This is our little secret. No one will know what we do behind closed doors, or what a romantic you are, mister quarterback."

With their romance rekindling well on the way, Ivan did take a moment to look through the gift basket of 'goodies'. There were massage oils, candles, a blindfold, silk ties, and various lubes. Throughout their relationship they never explored the more adventurous parts of the sex world but stuck with the traditional methods. But this night was too good to miss, plus, they were trying to rekindle their relationship in new ways, so why not start with a silk tie? Ivan unraveled the red silken tie to show to Alfred.

"May I love-bind you?"

"You mean bind me to the bed?"

"The headboard, actually. May I?"

Alfred blushed through his alcohol state. "S-sure…sounds kinky."

" 'Tis the season to be surprised."

Alfred just held out his wrists so Ivan could tie them, loosely, before watching them lifted over his head to attach to the headboard. He kept his eyes upwards at the mirror, watching Ivan's thicker body over his. Ivan's naked body heat, along with smell of oils filled his nostrils and his whole body shivered. It was too soon for his body to be reacting so quickly to Ivan's smell and touch, but it was. He found that he liked the ties, and surprising himself, asked for the blindfold.

"You sure?" Ivan asked.

"Yes, please." He watched as Ivan disappeared into darkness of lavender and silk. With his vision covered, Alfred's belly started to do flip-flops and his heart was racing in his chest. He could feel Ivan moving on the bed. "What are you going to do?"

"I haven't seen your body in so long. I have to explore it once again to regain familiarity with it." He said with a purr as he gazed upon Alfred's lightly bound body, slickened with oil, and almost fully hard. The image alone had his own erection throbbing and standing to full attention, ready for action. It would be hard to control himself. "Just relax and enjoy yourself."

Alfred let a gasp escape his lips when Ivan's hot mouth descended upon a nipple, taking it between his teeth. The sensation from the gentle nipping had the small moans flowing from his throat, and then came the loud gasps as the tip of a tongue tickled the nub. Alfred felt the deliciously chilling sensation ripple through his body and down to his toes, which he curled in the red silk sheets. If he was this hard from just tongue-play, he was eager to know how he would feel when Ivan moved further.

Ivan's hands roamed all over his body while that tongue and mouth left nips and hickies all over his skin. He nearly cried out loudly when he felt Ivan's engorged erection against his inner thigh, the head poking painfully into the sensitive skin. He could remember now what it felt like to have Ivan deep inside him with that proud erection that he was a little jealous of. Alfred always read articles about men going soft during sex if they were worn out, but when it came to Ivan, the man was solid as a rock until the very end. Oh how he wanted to feel that pleasurable painful stretching that promised extreme delight soon.

Alfred's body was responding beautifully, Ivan noticed, and he felt a sudden rush of lustful adrenaline. Within moments, he was running his hands and mouth all over Alfred's body like a man starved, tasting each and every inch of that perfect body. Alfred didn't appear prepared for his sudden onslaught of pleasure but also made no sounds of complaint, only pleasure. He had been without this body for far too long, and how he could have ever neglected it for another was now a mystery to him. He nipped, bit, sucked and kissed nearly every square inch, urged on by Alfred's heavy panting and gasps of pleasure. There was one place, however, that he did not kiss yet, and that was Alfred's lips.

So he paused in his onslaught of pleasure to rest his naked body against Alfred's and slowly lift the blindfold up to set it on the sweaty forehead. Cornflower blue eyes filled with lust, and even love, gazed back at him.

"Let me kiss you, Alfred. Please?" He pointed to his lips. "Here."

"Go ahead."

Alfred was unprepared for the ribbon to suddenly tear with the force of Ivan's strength. Now that his hands were free, he wondered what Ivan was going to do next, aside from the kiss. Already the man had ravished his body, which he  _loved,_ and even craved more of the rough stuff. And his wish was granted. Ivan's lips crushed against his, forcing his lips and teeth open with a probing tongue. Alfred felt the corners of his mouth stretched to their limit with Ivan's powerful kiss as it seemed to suck the life out of him. He threw his arms around Ivan's back, remembering now how broad Ivan's shoulders were for a nerdy chemist. He even spread his legs so he could feel Ivan's cock against his own.

For a moment, between breaths, he wondered (jealously) if that other man got to experience Ivan like this? No, it was wrong to think about that at this time. Ivan had admitted to his guilt and saw his mistakes. What the man was doing to him now was not a man that didn't love or crave him. Ivan show of rapid loving was all the proof Alfred needed to know that his boyfriend, yes, boyfriend, spoke the truth. Coming to this realization, he felt his cock spasm a bit, on the brink of orgasm, but held it back.

"Just do it, Ivan! Now!" He pleaded hungrily.

"We haven't done it in a while, Alfred. I don't want to accidently hurt you."

"Then lube yourself up good and start with two fingers, not one! Now!"

Ivan didn't need to be told twice. His cock was already aching to be buried inside that warm body and it would get its wish quicker than he originally thought. He grabbed the first bottle of lube he could get his hands on, opened it, and let a generous amount pour into his palm before rubbing them together. On Alfred's command, he started to press two fingers inside and used his other hand to start slicking his cock up for full penetration. He would have kissed Alfred to keep back the man's cries, as usual, but this time he wanted to hear Alfred's voice, and the sound was beautiful.

It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. Alfred wanted to cum just by the two fingers pushing inside of him. His muscles didn't even try to push out the fingers, instead, they sucked the fingers in. He never remembered a time when he was ever this horny. He just wanted more of what Ivan had to give, and let the other know by arching his hips. "More!"

With that lustful blush and throaty command, Ivan pulled his fingers out to position himself. Keeping his eyes focused on Alfred's face, he gave a hearty shove inside, letting the tip pass the first ring of muscle and dive a little further in. Alfred's face twisted in slight discomfort but his voice was the key to letting him know that he was enjoying himself. And Ivan let out a deep groan himself at the hot, tight feel of Alfred around him, and condom free. The sensation against his nerves promised him a swift release, so he continued to press his way deeper until he felt his balls slap against skin. Oh how he wished he could go in further.

Alfred gripped at Ivan's forearms as the pleasurable stretching quickly filled him, feeling as if the tip was up in his belly. This he had missed terribly. He knew that now with Ivan settled deep inside. The organ was rock hard and swollen, as it always was, and its burning heat thrilled every nerve in his body. He looked up at the mirror above the bed and saw their very undignified position. Ivan's body was a bit too pasty and big, covering him fully so only his head and limbs could be seen. It was actually a bit funny, but nothing was funny after that first solid thrust almost sent his lower organs up into his chest.

"AH! IVAN!"

"Too much?" He gasped out.

"No…not enough!"

'Santa…you really do exist!' Ivan thought to himself and started thrusting.

Alfred couldn't catch his breath in between the jack-hammering thrusts and all his eyes could do were roll back in his head as his brain tried to process the pleasure. Each hard thrust hit that special spot inside of him; the spot Ivan always found on the first or second thrust. He had to hold on to the headboard and use his arms to steady himself while his ass was plowed viciously by Ivan's thrusts. 'They're viciously delicious!' Alfred laughed to himself and would never look at a Lucky Charms commercial the same again.

'So tight…so hot…goddamn it…I won't be able to hold on much longer!' Alfred's body was swallowing him up, as if trying to absorb him completely, and that would be okay.

It felt so right to be with Alfred like this. He was stupid for ever doubting his feelings for this happy-go-lucky, Christmas loving, sports shouting, loud mouth American. He deserved whatever anger Alfred felt towards him.

"Ivan, roll over!" Alfred commanded of him.

Figuring Alfred wanted to ride him, Ivan moved so he was on his back and his lover was atop of him. Once Alfred was seated on his cock, he didn't ride him, but instead held the silk tie in his hands, threateningly. Ivan was a little confused, even more so when Alfred wrapped it around his neck and squeezed tight. Ivan let out a choked gasp, looking up at Alfred in hurt and confusion. Both those fists were pulled tight, along with the tie.

"I'm not going to hurt you or kill you, Ivan, but this is a warning to you!" He lifted himself up a bit and pressed back down on Ivan's erection with a little moan. "If you ever cheat on me again, if you ever fuck another man, if you EVER break my heart again, I swear that I will break every bone in your body and mount your head on my wall. Got it?" He lifted himself halfway off and then slammed down hard, striking his sweet spot. He let go of the tie.

Ivan, shocked and relieved, only panted and smiled up at him. "I understand, Alfred, and I swear to you that I will never stray again. You are the only one I want." He grinned. "But just so we understand each other-" he grabbed Alfred's throat with his hand, squeezed, and forced himself into a sitting position. Alfred's hands claws at his wrist. "You can't cheat on me either. I wouldn't harm you in any way, ever, I would die first before I ever physically hurt you. But the one you cheat on me with will suffer tenfold. I know how to slowly burn the skin off a man's body with a few simple mixes of this chemical and that chemical." He saw Alfred's eyes widened. "We are committing ourselves to each other, in every way, and I expect you will keep the same promises as you have commanded of me."

"Y-yes!" Alfred gasped out. "Let go!" Ivan released his throat and he rubbed it. "Geez…I forgot the grip you had!"

"You started it."

"I know." He then fixed himself so he was sitting more comfortably on Ivan's dick. "We will always be true to each other, okay? And if either of us has any issues or doubts, we talk about it."

"I agree." Ivan rocked his hips upwards. "I was an idiot, a damned fool, to ever stray away from you, my Alfie. You are my Alfie, my lover, my boyfriend." He hugged him. "I am certain that I love you more than you love me."

"Ivan-"

"Sh. Don't talk about that now. I know that I speak the truth. I know that you love me, but I love you a little more than you love me. I know that now."

Alfred blushed and saw his blushing face in the wall mirror above the headboard. "I've missed you, Ivan. You really hurt me." He saw his tears start to fall. "Don't ever make me feel this way again."

"I'll die first. This I swear. Alfred, look at me." Alfred did so. "No more talk. We're just feeling right now. We're starting a lot of new things tonight." He started to pant a bit when he felt Alfred's muscles clenching around him, as well as the swollen erection against his belly. "And, I know we never speak so crudely when making love…but just so you are warned…I'm going to fuck you all night long. We have to make up for lost time."

Alfred let out a laugh. "Just make sure I can walk tomorrow."

"And if you can't?"

He kissed him. "Then you'll just have to fuck me numb."

"I can do that."

The night was filled with their love making, on the bed, against the wall, on the chase lounge, and even the shag carpet. By the time they were spent, both cuddled up in the bed, wrapped in each other's arms without a space of doubt between them.

The next morning was Christmas Eve and Alfred was buzzing around his room in excited delight, singing various carols and dancing to them. They had left Feliciano and Ludwig's room in the early morning and had breakfast ordered to Alfred's room. Ivan was still eating his waffles after Alfred consumed his. They were both pleasantly surprised that Alfred wasn't as sore as they thought.

"Look at all this fresh snow!" He said as he gazed out the window. "I bet it's going to snow all day!"

"Truly a white Christmas." Ivan smiled from the bed. "So what are the other's doing?"

Alfred pulled the white turtleneck over his head. "We're all going to Antonio and Lovino's room to celebrate. They brought their Christmas tree with them and even decorated the place! We'll exchange gifts, sing some songs, drink and have fun!"

"Alfred? Am I invited?"

Alfred looked at him, surprised. "Why wouldn't you be?"

"Well…its just…many of them haven't seen me since we broke up and I thought they may feel a little awkward."

"Don't think like that. They'll be happy to have you. In fact, they'll love that we're together again. You know, the whole time I was here, before I saw you, all they did was worry about how I would feel being surrounded by couples. I'm actually happy that I have someone to share Christmas with this year!" He grinned.

Ivan sighed in relief. "Oh, good. I do miss all of them. We've all had some good times together."

"And we can have them again. Tonight, Santa comes! And in the words of Jim Carry in the Grinch, 'There'll be no sad faces on Christmas'!"

"You're just full of Christmas movie quotes, aren't you? I've had to watch every one with you." He sipped his coffee. "At least I was able to miss out on that!" He teased.

Alfred gave him a quick raspberry. "Just because Christmas doesn't exist in Russia like it does here doesn't mean you can't enjoy the holiday movies! Don't be a Scrooge or a Grinch!"

"I'm sorry, I promise I will be holly and jolly all throughout the night!"

"Then finish that breakfast and lets get ready for the day! We're meeting everyone outside for the 'Feed the Furry Friends' Christmas crafts!"

Ivan raised a brow. "Um…this is the first time I'm hearing about it?"

"Oh, sorry, but Ludwig had a list of things for all of us to do while staying here and today, we're supposed to meet outside and string cranberries and popcorn!"

"Whatever for?"

"To feed the wild animals and birds on Christmas, of course! Haven't you seen that in Russia? It sounds like something Russians would do."

Ivan gave him a 'are you kidding' look. "All Christmas traditions are different around the world! I've never seen it growing up, but I'm sure it exists in Russia. And I think it's a great idea to feed the animals on Christmas Eve. I want to do it as well."

"Good, because Ludwig signed us all up for it. He'll pay for you, I'm sure."

"I can pay for myself."

"Whatever the case, we're stringin' popcorn! Get movin', lazy bones! I didn't tire you out THAT much, did I?"

Ivan pouted. "But I'm still hungry. And these pancakes are made with vanilla. Spectacular!"

"I know. Why do you think I ate them so fast?"

"You are my little vacuum cleaner." Ivan teased and went back to eating.

/

Outside in the 'Crafting Corner', their merry group had their own table with bowls of popcorn and cranberries. The snow was falling lightly around them and each had their own cup of hot chocolate.

Arthur was stringing his under the watchful eye of a bird, who was merrily perched on a nearby hedge. His green eyes narrowed at the bird. "He's lying in wait for me. I know he is!"

Francis laughed. "My love, you're being paranoid! That little bird is only hungry and eager to have its share!"

"Veh! I hope a deer comes up and eats a cranberry out of my hand!" Feliciano squealed. "Wouldn't that be so cool? I'd be like Snow White!"

Ludwig shook his head. "No animals other than birds and squirrels will come when so many people are around. They will come late tonight when all is quiet."

"Speaking of quiet," Antonio started. "Are you reading 'The Night Before Christmas' for us tonight?"

"I suppose." Ludwig answered. "If no one else is interested?" They all shook their heads. "Then I will tell the story."

"YA-WHOOOOOO! What up, bros! Got room for two more?" Alfred's voice scared away the bird.

"Alfred! Ivan!" Feliciano said their names happily. "Yes, of course there's room! Come and join us!"

Ivan gave them all a wave. "Hello everyone. Long time no see, yes?"

They all greeted him with a 'hey' or 'hi'.

"Ivan and I are together again." Alfred said proudly. "Don't ask how or why! We just want to enjoy the holidays like old times. So let's string some popcorn!" Alfred forced his way between Lovino and Arthur and Ivan sat beside Ludwig on the end.

"So how do we do this?" Ivan asked Ludwig.

"You take this pin and carefully penetrate the cranberry or popcorn, like so." Ludwig showed him. "We need many to wrap around the trees."

Ivan nodded and took a needle with a long string attached and began to thread. Alfred followed suit.

Afterwards, they all helped to string the cranberry and popcorn garland around the nearby trees, watching as the birds started to swarm around the food. With a job well done, the group did another round of skiing before they all broke up to get ready for the Christmas Eve party. Room service had been ordered ahead of time, along with alcohol and dessert.

Ivan and Alfred were the last to arrive, both standing outside of Antonio and Lovino's door. Ivan was stuck carrying all the presents.

"You okay?" Alfred asked him.

"I will be once I put these down." Ivan answered as Alfred knocked.

Antonio opened the door, dressed in a full Santa suit minus the beard. "Hey guys! Glad you can make it! Come on in!" He kissed them both on the cheek. "Put your presents under the tree!"

"HI EVERYONE!" Alfred shouted merrily. "WHO'S READY TO PARRRR-TAY?"

"MEEEEE!" Feliciano bounced happily with a drink in his hand and offered it to Alfred.

Ivan placed the presents carefully under the tree with all the others. 'Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree' was playing and he saw Sadiq, Heracles, Lovino and Gilbert dancing in the most open part of the room. All of the furniture had been pushed to the side to make room for them. The Christmas tree was skinny and tall, decorated with colored lights and silver balls. A bright star shone at the top. Ivan took a moment to admire it, especially the star.

"Hey." Arthur joined him, handing him a glass of vodka. "Long time no see."

"Hello Arthur." Ivan smiled, accepting the glass. "I'm glad you all let me come to this party tonight."

Arthur shrugged. "If Alfred forgives you, then he has good reason. We have to accept it as well since we're all friends."

Ivan smiled warmly. "It's nice to hear that, Arthur. Thank you."

"So…" he cleared his throat. "Did the room arrangements work out for you last night?"

"More than you can know. I realized my mistake long ago. I'm honored that Alfred has forgiven me, and from here, we can move on."

Arthur nodded. "I agree. I'm happy for both of you. Just make sure it doesn't happen again, okay?"

"You have my word."

"Good. Because I will break every bone in your hand if you hurt Alfred again." With that said, he walked away.

'Why does everyone want to break my bones?' Ivan wondered.

After dinner, they all got together to play 'Pictionary' with the theme of 'Christmas' or 'Christmas Movies'. Everyone paired up with their boyfriend, except for Gilbert, who had to pair up with his brother and Feliciano. The only couple having a hard time guessing the picture was Heracles and Sadiq, which, as usual, ended in a fight. Everyone else had no trouble at all, except for Ivan, who didn't know much about Christmas movies. Alfred was annoyed, but forgave him.

Next, they all surrounded Antonio as he took out his guitar and lead them in Christmas carols. They all sang 'Deck the Halls', 'Jingle Bells', 'Frosty the Snowman', and 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas'. Alfred, Feliciano, and Gilbert sang the loudest, joining shoulders with their alcoholic beverages and swaying back and forth. Antonio and Sadiq sang a duet of 'Mistletoe and Holly'. Feliciano and Lovino, after a few glasses of wine, also did a duet singing 'Jolly Ol' Saint Nicolas'.

When the caroling was over, everyone began exchanging gifts. Ludwig went first, opening his gift from Feli. He blushed darkly when he looked inside and refused to show it when everyone begged to see what it was. The other gifts all had a beer related theme to them, such as, 'Beer Makes Me Poop', a gag-gift t-shirt from Gilbert.

Gilbert went next, with all his gifts being money in an envelope or in the form of a gift card. Feliciano insisted on going next, getting an assortment of pastas, clothing, and sauces. Lovino had almost the same. Antonio's gifts were music themed, Sadiq had numerous flavors of tobacco for his hookah, and Heracles got everything cat related. Alfred, of course, had all sports things such as his name printed on a water bottle. However, no one had gotten gifts for Ivan, except for Alfred and Feliciano.

"Here Ivan," Feliciano handed him a small box. "This is for you."

"For me? Thank you, Feli." Ivan pulled apart the red bow and opened the lid to reveal a pin of a chemistry bottle with fake bubbles coming from the top. "Oh, how nice. Thank you, Feli."

"Veh~ I knew you'd like it! I thought it would look nice on your lab coat!"

Ivan smiled. "It will. Thank you."

The others looked embarrassed.

"Wait! There's still my gift!" Alfred said and took a box from under the tree. "Here Ivan, this is for you."

Ivan smiled at him, taking the box covered in Rudolph wrapping paper. "Thank you, Alfred." He opened it to reveal a long wooden box. Opening up the second lid, he saw that it was imported Russian potato vodka. "Alfred…you shouldn't have."

Alfred grinned, winked at him, and gave a thumbs up. "I know how much you love it! And it won't go to waste! I know that!"

"And I have a gift for you." Ivan set the bottle box down and reached into his pocket, pulling out a very small box wrapped in gold paper with a red bow on the top.

Everyone was silent, staring at the size of the box and wondering if it was what they thought it was.

Ivan smiled at Alfred, got down on one knee in front of the Christmas tree, and held the small box out to him. "Alfred Jones, on this perfect Christmas Eve…will you marry me?"

Feliciano jumped up with a delighted scream before Alfred could answer.

"Ivan…" he whispered, staring at the box. "You…but I…huh?"

"Will you marry me?" Ivan pushed the box into Alfred's hands. "I didn't know what other way I could prove to you that I will be forever true and loyal but through marriage. What other form of great trust and honor is there than marriage?"

Alfred slowly removed the gold paper and flipped open the lid to reveal two golden bands. His eyes watered. His throat closed up. His heart pounded in his chest. He didn't know what to say or do. With a hand clasped to his mouth, he gave a silent nod before shouting, "OF COURSE I WILL!"

Feliciano and Antonio both squealed loudly.

Francis, drunk, raised his wine glass and shouted, ' _Mazel Tov',_ the Jewish saying for 'good luck'.

"Sit down, Francis." Said Arthur flatly. "You're drunk."

Ivan took the first ring and placed it on Alfred's ring finger, and then placed his on his own. "You've made me a happy man today, Alfred." He stood up just in time for Alfred to embrace him.

Gilbert came over and pushed them apart with a smirk. "Hey, Ivan! I don't suppose you'll let me 'kiss the bride'?" Before Ivan could answer, Gilbert dipped Alfred and gave him a long, drunken kiss before releasing him upright. "HOT DAMN!"

Alfred wiped his lips and Ivan slapped a hand to his face.

"A toast, then! To the happy couple!" Sadiq raised his own glass of wine. "On this night, we should admire a couple like Ivan and Alfred. They've showed us that even through trouble and heartbreak, there is always room for forgiveness if you keep your heart open. Although we all come from different ethic backgrounds, we share a special bond of friendship that goes beyond anything traditional. Life is full of tough choices and rough hurdles, but as long as we support, trust, and love one another, we can make it through anything. Nothing is this world is simple, yet here we all stand, together as one, supporting each other through all things that come our way." He smiled at the newly engaged couple and raised his glass. "So to the new couple, _Tebrikler!_ " He shouted the Turkish word for 'congratulations'.

Words of,  _felicidades, herzliche Glückwünsche, congratulazioni, félicitations, singariteeria,_ all went out at once with raised glasses.

Alfred was beaming with joy and gave Ivan a huge, wet, sloppy kiss on his cheek. "This has been the best Christmas ever!"

Gilbert jumped onto the couch and added, ever so proudly, "GOD BLESS US, EVERY ONE!"

After another round of celebration drinks were past, Ludwig had everyone gather around the Christmas tree and the fireplace to begin the reading of 'The Night Before Christmas'. Tipsy, tired, and excited, the couples all snuggled in to one another (with Gilbert on Ludwig's left and Feliciano on his right) to listen to the story. Ludwig spoke the story with a storyteller's voice, keeping his flow even and soft. During the reading, everyone had time to think about themselves, the people they care for, and the lives they lead.

But none were as happy as Ivan and Alfred, who barely listened to the story and focused more on snuggling with the other. By the time Ludwig had finished, most of them had drifted off to sleep with only a few remaining half awake. Both Alfred and Ivan were awake, though.

Alfred took Ivan's hand and lead him to the far end of the room where the music was softly playing and the window showed a silent night of falling snow. "A lot has happened in a few days, huh?"

Ivan nodded, wrapping an arm around Alfred's waist. "It certainly has. Everything will change for us now." He pointed out. "Are you ready for that?"

"I am." He smiled. "Marriage vows are, in my opinion, the strongest vows there are. I have full trust and faith in your promises now, Ivan. I have to admit, I wasn't expecting THAT."

Ivan chuckled. "Isn't that the point of Christmas? To be surprised?"

"Yeah, but I never thought you would give me a ring." He looked at it on his finger. "Wow…I'm…engaged. Engaged! Me! I'm going to be married."

"Yes. You will soon be a married man. My married man. My 'wife'. Or do you prefer 'husband'?"

"In public, call me 'husband'. In private," he blushed happily. "You can call me 'wife'."

"How about,  _lyubov moya._ "

Alfred smiled. "What's that mean?"

" 'My love' in Russian. I know you prefer me to speak American, but for this, I think you can make an acceptation,  _da_?"

Alfred laughed. "I sure can!" He kissed his cheek. "Merry Christmas, Ivan."

"Merry Christmas, Alfred."

They shared a kiss as ' _Auld Lang Syne'_ , sung by the Beach Boys, came on the stereo.

' _Should old acquaintance be forgot_

_And never brought to mind_

_Should old acquaintance be forgot_

_And days of Auld Lang Syne_

_For Auld Lang Syne, my dear...'_

' _Hi, this is Denny, and speaking for the rest of the guys I'd like to say that it has been a great pleasure for all of us to bring you this Christmas album. We hope you will treasure it the way we do. And if you hap-happen to be listening to this album right now, Mike, Brian, Carl, Al and I would like to wish every one of you a very merry Christmas, and we hope the new year brings you as much happiness as this year has brought us. Thank you very much._

_...May old acquaintance be forgot_

_And days of Auld Lang Syne.'_

**The End**

*****Thank you one and all for reading this sweet and tacky Christmas RusAme fic! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Each chapter of this story was written in front of my Christmas tree! I enjoy the Christmas holiday as much as the next person, and I hope that this fic has brought you a little be of holiday cheer if you were in need of it. I chose the 'Beach Boys' to close out this fic because, 'Christmas with the Beach Boys' is my FAVORITE Christmas album, and their version of 'Auld Lang Syne' is the last song on the album with Denny speaking. It always warms my heart and makes me feel all Christmas-y inside, and I think that we all need a little bit of encouragement and happiness in the holiday and the new year to come. I wanted to share that with you. ^_^**

**So I would like to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas, a very Happy Hanukah, or Kwanzaa, or a very happy New Year! I hope all your holidays and new year will be a safe and happy one!**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS! 3**

 


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